Lux by Courtney Cole Read Free Book Online Page B

dreams blend with memories, and then reality isn’t real.
    I always feel too silly to ask anyone but Finn what is real and what is not.
    They’d think I’m crazy.
    I’m not.
    Dare kicks me lightly beneath the table and I glance at him quickly.
    He grins, his familiar, ornery grin and I love it. Because it always seems like he’s daring me when he smiles.
    Daring me to…what?
    He leans over.
    “I’m going to the garden tonight after dark. Wanna come?”
    I hesitate.
    It’s dark out there. And the moors. And at night, they growl.
    Dare notices my hesitation.
    “Are you scared?” he whispers mockingly.
    No, of course not. I shake my head. Accusing someone of being scared is the worst insult possible, I think.
    He smiles again.
    “Then sneak out and meet me at midnight. You know Finn will be surrounding himself with his Latin books. I know you won’t want to join that.”
    No, of course I don’t. Latin annoys me, but Finn has developed a fascination for it, and spends every free second studying it.
    “You know you want to,” Dare adds.
    “Fine,” I agree, trying to sound grudging, but chills run up and down my arms in anticipation, because what does he want to do out there in the dark?
    He’s so… rebellious. It’s hard to say.
    True to my word, I sneak out of my bedroom and slip out of the house at midnight. I run as fast as I can down the paths because I swear there’s something chasing me.
    Something dark,
    Something scary.
    But when I glance over my shoulder,
    There’s never anything there.
    I burst through the garden gates, and Dare is already here.
    He smiles, and his teeth are pearls in the night.
    “Hey,” he greets me casually, like it’s not midnight and we’re not breaking rules.
    “You’re not supposed to leave the house,” I remind him.
    He shrugs. Because he’s Dare and he’s a rule-breaker. “So?”
    It’s a challenge and I don’t address it. Mainly because I don’t have a good answer.
    I don’t know why he’s not supposed to leave the house. It’s never made any sense to me. It’s not fair. But then again, Uncle Richard has never been fair to Dare.
    “You and I are alike, Calla,” Dare tells me, and the night is quiet and his voice is soft. “I’m in prison here, and you’re in prison in your mind.”
    “No, I’m not,” I protest stoutly. “I’m medicated. I’m fine.”
    Dare shakes his head and looks away. “But you know what it feels like.”
    I do. I have to admit that I do.
    “No one knows what it’s like to be me,” I whisper. “Not even Finn. It’s lonely.”
    “ I know what it’s like,” Dare finally answers. “You’ll never have to explain it to me. You’re not alone.”
    While we sit and examine the stars, our shoulders bump into each other and absorb each other’s warmth, and I think that might actually be true.
    Dare and I are the same. When I’m with him, I’m not alone.
    “Why are you a prisoner?” I ask after a few minutes, broaching a forbidden topic, hesitant and afraid that he’ll snap at me. But he doesn’t.
    His shoulders slump and he closes his eyes and he lifts his face to the moon.
    “It’s not anything you should worry about,” he says with tired words. “They don’t want you to know.”
    “But why?”
    “Because.”
    “Because isn’t an answer.”
    “It is right now,” Dare tells me. “Someday, you’ll probably know. But for now? All that matters is this. We’re breathing, and there are stars, and we had chocolate cake for dinner.”
    He’s right. It was a good dinner.
    And it’s a good night.
    I’m alone with Dare in the garden.
    We’re breaking rules,
    And that feels good.

----
    W ater creeps up around me , over me, drowning me. I twist and turn, fighting to break the liquid bonds encircling my hands and feet. I can’t move, I can’t breathe, and there are black eyes staring at me from the surface.
    I see them, peer into them, fear them, as they blur then disappear.
    Down,
    Down,
    Down I go.
    Away