Maggie for Hire by Kate Danley Read Free Book Online Page B

brought the whole world crashing around my ears,” I pointed out.
    “Quite understandable.  But perhaps you will allow me to secure you a brownie from our bakery in apology.”
    “Does it have nuts?” I shouted, “Because that’s what you are to think that I can be bought off with chocolaty goodness!”
    Killian’s face cringed.
    “What?”
    “He did not mean that kind of brownie.”
    “What???”  Then realization dawned and I felt like an ass.  “Oh.  A brownie.”
    “Cleaners.  Cooks.  Ears to the ground,” said the fat man.
    “Oh.  That’s different,” I said.  “That would be... acceptable.  And I will take a regular cake-like brownie, too.”
    Killian collapsed his head in his hand.
    “I’m hungry.”
    And that was that.
    I let Killian drive as I nommed the brownie.  I also tried not to pay much attention to the merry little, one-foot tall man with pointy shoes buckled into the back middle seat.  His hands were folded happily on his belly and he looked like he had never been so content as to sit in the back of a busted Honda Civic.
    I couldn’t take it.
    “I’m sorry, what was your name?”
    “Pipistrelle!”
    The brownie’s voice sounded like a cartoon character rolling on speed.
    “Would you like some of my... chocolate cake square...?”
    His eyes lit up like Christmas, “Many thanks!”
    He took the half I offered him, which was the size of his head and chewed it slowly, eyes rolling back in ecstasy.
    I wiped my hands on my jeans.
    “So, Killian, let’s review what we learned today.  My dad was a vampire relic smuggler.  My Uncle Ulrich is currently IN the smuggling business.  The vampires want me dead because something was stolen that shouldn’t have been stolen.  And we are also responsible for a small man that should probably be buckled into a car seat.”
    “It is farther along the path than we were yesterday.”
    “I can help!” the brownie in the back piped up.  I turned around.  He had a big chocolate mustache from one ear to the next.
    I pulled out a Kleenex and passed it back, “You’ve got a little something on your cheek.”
    Pipistrelle wiped his face and wadded up the tissue, “I could find your Uncle Ulrich for you!”
    We were sort of at a dead end, so I gave a shrug, “Sure.  You do that.”
    The brownie started unbuckling his seatbelt.
    “Wait!  Pipistrelle, wait!  You don’t have to go now.”
    He climbed up on the co-pilot console and patted my shoulder, “It is my pleasure.”
    His fat little hand moved towards the door handle.
    “WAIT!  Killian, pull over the car.  Pipistrelle, we are stopping the car.  Don’t get out until the car... PIPISTRELLE!”
    I saw his little body tumble out the side into the gutter.  Killian pulled the car to a screeching halt.  I hopped out the door to see if the poor little brain injured Pipistrelle was okay only to see him skipping merrily along, dodging sticks and stray leaves.
    “Pipistrelle!  Are you all right?” I shouted after him.
    He gave me a friendly little salute.
    “How will we find you?”
    “I shall find you!” he squeaked before running into a hedge and was gone.
    I climbed back into the car, “And here I was going to get him to do my laundry tonight.  Well,”  I popped open my  glove compartment and pulled out a manila folder.  “Guess while he does our reconnaissance work, we could round up the ghoul and keep my cover intact.”
    Killian sighed and took the folder from me, knowing he didn’t have much room to maneuver on this matter.  He flipped through the sheets in between reading street signs, “A ghoul.  How do you propose tracking him when he can take on any shape?”
    “Ghouls are going to look for the easiest nosh they can find, which, according to the deeply scientific studies of MacKay and MacKay, usually means a funeral,” I said in my best second grade teacher voice.
    Killian looked at me like I was the insensitive clod that I actually was, “We are going