Maldeamores (Lovesick) (Heightsbound #0.5) by Mara White Read Free Book Online

teaching me to fight, I didn’t want him to ever stop touching me. But I didn’t know that it would be so awful afterwards and that it would make him hate me. And I feel guilty too, but I know for a fact at school that a lot of girls kiss their cousins—so it can’t be as bad as he’s acting.
    I feel like his eyes are telling me a story and I just want to keep listening. I think there is so much inside of Luciano and I’ve seen a lot of it since we were kids, but I get the feeling it’s even bigger and I wish I could see inside of him to light up all of those dark corners. I know he wishes we had more money or that we had our dads around. I know he worries about the future and about his mom holding onto her job. I’ve heard them fight about him staying in school, and I’ve seen Titi cry when he says he wants to get a job so that he can support her.
    “Hey, Belén!” one of the boys calls, and I look up to see them all staring in my direction. I put my drink down and stand up and then slowly walk over. I hope they’re not playing a trick or teasing me and I’m the punch line of their joke. I don’t know how Yari can hang out with them—I just don’t trust boys their age. Boys in the neighborhood are bad news, especially these ones who practically live on the corner.
    “Leave her alone,” Luciano says and looks at me sharply, jerking his head toward our front door. He wants me to go inside and not be the victim of their fun. But I want to show Luciano that I’m tough, I can take it—show him I can be like other girls. I want him to see that maybe other boys have crushes on me too.
    “Belén, go upstairs,” he says as I walk closer to their group.
    “Let her stay, Lucky,” one of them says. “She looks just like Eva Mendes.”
    “Hey, Lucky, does your cousin suck dick?” another one says, and now I know I should turn around. But my feet keep on walking and bringing me closer.
    My mom once told me that men can smell fear just like horses do, so you have to pretend when you’re around them. Show them you’re tough and that you won’t back down for anything. If they get a whiff of your fear they might go crazy and attack you.
    Luciano grabs my arm and pulls me right through the center of the group. I sort of slam up against his side from the momentum and a smile slides up my face even though I don’t want it to.
    “Even if I went all the way with a boy—like I’d ever tell you guys,” is all I can think of to say in retaliation. I want to be one of the girls who aren’t afraid. I want to be cool.
    “Holy shit, Belén!” one boy directly behind me says.
    “Oh, fuck!” says another one and now they’re all laughing.
    I’m smiling and blushing because I’m not sure what they’re all getting at. Luciano grabs my arm and yanks me toward our building.
    “Let go!” I say firmly. “I want to stay out until later.”
    “No, you don’t. Come. Now,” he says, and I can’t say no to him. He’s too pissed off and I can tell he won’t take no for an answer.
    “What are they all talking about, anyway?” I ask as he drags me toward home again.
    “Wait till we get upstairs,” Luciano says still forcefully pulling me.
    “What’s your problem—” I say but stop short at the stoop when I look down to see my soda and the dark smear next to it on the cement steps.
    “No!” I gasp and then take off running toward my apartment.
    This can’t be happening to me right now. Not in front of those boys, not in front of my cousin. I’m making noises that are kind of like sobs all filled up with regret. But Luciano has caught up to me on the stairs and is trying to comfort me.
    “My mom’s at work,” I say, hiding my face from him.
    “Is this the first time?” he asks.
    “I don’t want to talk about it!”
    We’re on his landing and he fishes for his keys. I just stand still, sobbing, wishing I could erase this whole stupid day.
    “Come in, Belén,” he says, gesturing with his head to the