Marabou Stork Nightmares by Irvine Welsh Read Free Book Online

a certain clarity – – – but it – – – was all fuckin

    Simply Devine, Patricia.
    Sidney Devine. I'll be back, Sandy.
    — Your girlfriend looked nice. I hadn't seen her before. Still, I suppose I'm quite new on this ward.
    What girlfriend? Surely that fat hoor wisnae back. Some mistake surely. She'll be gettin fucked by somebody else long ago and good riddance. And I gave that fuckin boot a ring. Fuckin joke. Git back tae Fathell, Dorie my love.
    No don't talk about her that way don't talk like that about Dorie who isnae real nowt's fuckin real
    Stay cool
    — I think she's a bit shy. Very pretty though. You're a bit of a dark horse, aren't you Roy?
    I've not got much to say for myself, Patricia. Plenty to think about though.
    — You know Roy, I heard all about you. It came as a shock to me.
    — Right Nurse Devine, let's get him changed.
    — Oh, Staff, Right.
    Caught again Patricia, caught blethering to the veg.
    Fuck getting changed.
    Fuck getting shaken aboot like a pea in a whistle . . . this whistle the whistle
    This requires DEPTH.
    D
    E
    P
    T
    H– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
    After circling around on a path on the periphery of the forest for a while, we eventually pulled

    is . . . I feel really bad about us moving him into the corridor like this, Bev.
    — I know Tricia, but it's only going to be for a couple of nights, then he'll have his room back. Won't you, Roy?
    Ah dinnae gie a fuck where ye pit ays. Stick ays oot wi the rubbish fir aw ah care, ya cunts.
    —I think it's terrible though. Some rich private patient needs the room, so a long-term.coma victim is dumped in the corridor until the wealthy case is ready to go . . .
    —The hospital needs the funds these people bring in though. Tricia.
    —Well, I'm just glad I'm not on duty when we have to explain to the family what he's doing in the corridor.
    Deeper.
    Can't I get some shagging interest in this? Conjure up a fleshy hologram of Nurse Patricia Devine and fuck her no no no
    Dawson
    Dawson, who looks like a criminal seal, eyes alert and open in all that blubber . . .
    What does Patricia Devine look like
    HAIR
    EYES
    TEETH
    COMPLEXION
    TITS
    ARSE
    MINGE
    LEGS
    It needs a woman in this not as a real person just for the shag interest just for
    DEEPER
    DEEPER
    DEEPER
    DEEPER
    DEEPER
    DEEPER
    DEEPER
    DEEPER
    DEEPER – – – – – Dawson. . . on our arrival at the lodge he had stolen over to me, completely ignoring Sandy, and shaken my hand with a theatrical warmth. He let his eyes hold mine for a few seconds of contrived intimacy and boomed in a deep, affectedly sincere voice, — Roy Strang. I've read so much about you in the papers. A pleasure to meet you.
    — You're no slouch in the publicity stakes yourself, Mr Dawson, I commented.
    — Lochart, please; call me Lochart, he implored. He grinned idiotically for a few more rather excruciating moments then once again looked penetratingly at me. There was a snidey, manipulative aspect to his eyes which was totally incongruent with the open, garrulous set of his mouth. He reminded me of nothing more than a desperate old queen attempting to score in a singles bar, apparently casual but ever conscious of the remorseless clock. He looked mildly uneasy for a brief second or two, as if he was reading my thoughts, and then cackled, – We'll, I hope that my publicity is a little more, eh, salubrious, than yours. But they say that there's no such thing as bad publicity. That is an adage that I have at least some sympathy with.
    This conversation was becoming rather upsetting. — I don't believe that to be the case. Few people would welcome what I've gone through . . .
    — All this self-pity, Roy! Very disappointing, he boomed, slapping my back, his hand making a sound like a wet fish hitting a slab. Then he ushered me through to a library, leading to a conservatory at the back of the Lodge. As we moved towards