Memoranda by Jeffrey Ford Read Free Book Online

‘You have much to learn,’ he said.”
    Here the demon motioned for me to return the pack of cigarettes. He took another and this time reached up and struck the match head into flame against his left horn. As he brought the light down, he looked out of the corner of his eye to make sure I had caught his performance.
    â€œSo,” I said, “Below dragged you into humanity.”
    â€œBirthed me,” he said. “He showed me many things. Told me many things. And then one day, we discovered that I had a special way of learning. I used to be his assistant in the laboratory. I watched him make his inventions and experiments, as he called them. At the time, he was turning men into the wolf-things that surround the ruins. A group of men from somewhere came to the City. They had weapons and were hunting through the debris for treasures. We captured them, he and I and Greta. He told me that he was going to help them to return to their true forms. What they were really searching for was to be turned into wolves. We put them all alive in cages and then one at a time, he would take them out and work on them. Their screams upset me. He told me it was not easy for them to become what they needed to become.
    â€œOne day when he was sleeping, I heard one of them screaming in the laboratory. I went in there, although I was not supposed to without the Master. The man begged me to let him go. I tried telling him he needed to become a wolf, but he cried most pitifully. He told me he would be all right if I would just let him loose to take a walk for a few minutes. I hurt inside for him and undid the straps, letting him up. He ran away. Father was furious with me. He yelled and even struck me in the face. I was told to stand in the corner, and he sent Greta out to find the man. She returned an hour later, but I guess she never found him.
    â€œLater, the Master came to me and told me never to do anything in the laboratory without his permission. I told him I was sorry, and he said I was good then. I wanted to put my arms around him, but his face was still frowning. Instead, I reached out and laid my hand on top of his head. That is when the learning came in a great storm through my hand and arm and into me. It was like his life was in my mind. I saw him as a boy and a young man. I saw him doing a thousand things and speaking a million words. ‘Remarkable,’ he said as he lifted my hand from his head. He had felt it too and said it was a part of my animal nature that I had not lost—that it would be a valuable tool. From then on, we learned to contain the storm, we birthed it into a human thing, and this is how he taught me so much in the few years I have been alive.”
    â€œAnd what did he teach you about me?” I asked.
    â€œHe told me you were one of his children and showed me you in his thoughts.”
    â€œDid he tell you he once tried to have me killed?”
    â€œNo,” he said, and pushed his chair back. He stood and his wings lifted, his tail danced.
    â€œWhat kind of father tries to kill his children?” I asked.
    The demon took off his spectacles and stood quietly for a long time, pulling at his pigtail of a beard.
    â€œI know,” he said in a quiet voice. “That first time the storm came through my hand and into me, before we learned to contain it, I saw everything.”
    â€œIt bothers you, doesn’t it?”
    Misrix shook his head. “Why did he do that to the woman with the green cloth? Why did he shoot the man? Why did he make the soldiers scream with pain to become wolves? The knowledge came to me through him, but also there came a small stinging insect, always buzzing through my thoughts. Everything I have come to know is poisoned by the sting of this creature. At night I cannot sleep for wondering.”
    â€œWhy do you stay here?” I asked.
    â€œHe is my father.”
    I told him what had happened at Wenau—about the exploding bird and