Monday
A lot of the kids at school today were talking about what they’re going to be doing this summer.
Skelee said that his parents were to going to take him to Yellowbone National Park. I think he said that’s where his parents are from.
Slimey said he was going to the Superflat Biome. He said they have big fields where he can have fun and jump around.
And Creepy said his parents were sending him away to camp.
I felt really bad for Creepy. But he said he’s been going to camp for the past three years.
He said he liked camp because they make crafts, play lots of sports, and eat really good food.
Sometimes I think Creepy is living in another world…
The guys asked me what I was doing for summer.
I just told them I was going to play video games and eat cake all summer.
“I wish I could do that.” Skelee said. “But my parents always ruin it. I think they feel like if they let me have fun, then they’re not being good Skeleton parents, or something.”
I’m really going to miss my friends for the summer.
But I think Steve is going to be around so I’ll hang out with him.
I went to go visit Steve to see what he was up to.
I found him night fishing by the lake.
“Hey Steve!” I said.
“AAAAAHHH!”
“Zombie, why do you always sneak up on me like that?!!”
“I’ve been practicing for my Scare exam that’s coming up in a few weeks.” I said.
“Oh, that makes sense.” Steve said.
“By the way,” Steve said. “I was just thinking of something I wanted to ask you. Why did your parents name you Zombie?” Why didn’t they call you “Joe” or “Edgar” or something like that?”
“Zombie is not my real name. That’s just a nickname people call me,” I said. “My real name is Zack. Zack Zombie.”
“Zack Zombie, really?”
“Yeah, most Zombies have the last name Zombie,” I said.
Like my uncle Harry Zombie
Or my neighbor Seymour Zombie
There are also a few kids at school with the name Zombie too. There’s…
Ima Zombie
Ada Zombie.
Major Zombie
Nada Zombie
Norma Lee Zombie
Sacha Zombie
Ivana Zombie
So Yung Zombie (I think he’s Korean)
Zeena Zombie
Yuri Zombie
And there’s even a kid named Zombie Zombie.
“Oh, so Zombie is kind of like Smith or Jones with humans,” Steve said.
“I guess,” I said. “Is your last name Smith?”
“No…Actually, I don’t know my last name.”
“Whoa.” I said. “But I bet if you did it would be something cool like “Steve Human” or something like that.”
Steve just looked at me…Confused.
Tuesday
Tomorrow is picture day.
That’s when we take pictures for our school yearbook.
I don’t like taking pictures.
No matter how I smile, I always end up looking like a real noob.
Big mouth Jeff always looks really good in his pictures.
And this year he was lucky. He got a case of the chicken pox right before picture day.
Now, he’s going to look really awesome.
A lot of the other kids got chicken pox too.
But for some reason I couldn’t catch it.
It’s like all the other kids get all the cool diseases like: measles, mumps, lice, chicken pox, small pox and even some cool flesh-eating diseases too.
But for some reason, I can’t get any.
It’s like the only disease I ever catch is a case of bad luck.
Wednesday
My Mom got me a new outfit for picture day today.
It’s a good thing that picture day is only once a year…
I think I look like a real dork.
When I got to school all the kids were dressed in their best clothes.
I had never seen mobs look so good.
And then big mouth Jeff and his crew arrived, all covered in chicken pox…
…And they looked awesome.
I wanted to look awesome…
So I decided to fake the measles.
Hey, I couldn’t get the chicken pox, but I think I could fake the measles.
So, I took a red marker from my teacher’s desk and I ran to the bathroom.
But the bathroom was full of mob kids getting ready for pictures.
So I ran to
Learning to Kill: Stories