Mirrors by Ted Dekker Read Free Book Online Page B

dream,” she said.
    “I see. And what did you see in this dream?”
    “That I was ugly.”
    A smile slowly formed on his face. He withdrew his toothpick and flicked it across the room.
    “Good. Progress, and so soon.”
    She looked at the toothpick lying in the middle of her bedroom floor. She was making progress; let him think that. The sooner she convinced him she didn’t belong here, the better.
    “The problem is, my dear ugly duckling,” he said, grin now gone, “you still aren’t making the proper distinctions between what is illusion and what isn’t.”
    “Of course I am. I looked, didn’t I? I saw the real ugliness that I secretly imagine in myself. Isn’t that what you wanted?”
    “Ah.” Lawson wagged his finger. “But you still don’t understand, sweetheart. You weren’t having a hallucination in the bathroom last night. You’re actually having one now. As we speak.”
    For a brief moment, her heart stalled.
    She wanted to play along, but doing so felt obscene.
    “Of course I’m not. You’re saying this room isn’t real? That you aren’t real? That’s not possible.”
    “I’m not saying this room and I aren’t real, Alice. I’m saying the you that you see right now isn’t the real you. You’ve suffered some kind of trauma that makes your mind see yourself differently than you really are. I’m guessing that you saw the real you last night.”
    She couldn’t help but to glance down at her hands. Christy’s hands.
    “Your mind sees only what it can handle. But not seeing the truth is keeping you locked up in delusion.” He paused. “When you walk into the bathroom, what do you see?” he asked.
    “What do you mean? A plain bathroom.”
    “And the walls?”
    What was he getting at?
    “Just walls.”
    “Color?”
    “White.”
    “You see? At this moment, you see this room, you see me, as we really are. Plain as day. But you see yourself as Christy, a far more palatable rendition of the true you. And when you’re in your delusional state, you don’t see that the bathroom is actually walled in mirrored glass, all the way around, every square inch.” The administrator grinned, pleased with himself. “It’s one of the things we do here—a little physical change can often trigger a change in thinking.”
    “That was only a delusion!”
    “So you admit that you are delusional. Good. But I can assure you, the bathroom doesn’t have white walls. You just see it that way because your mind can’t bear to see you for who you are. It can tolerate one little mirror, maybe, but not a room full of them. It’s too much. Last night you were able to emerge from your delusion long enough to see yourself for who you really are. When you woke, the real you had retreated and the false you had reasserted itself. Capisce?”
    The tremors took hold of her bones, deep down where no one could see them yet.
    “That’s impossible.”
    “Not at all. Entirely common in my trade.” His eyes shifted in the bathroom’s direction. “Now that you’ve heard the truth, you might even be able to take a peek and see for yourself. Maybe it’s too early.”
    His eyes alighted on her.
    “Would you like to try?”
    His suggestion, that she really was the girl she’d seen last night, was screaming though her mind, stopping up her lungs, tilting the world.
    Something’s really wrong with you, Christy. Something is very, very wrong with you .
    “It’s all right, Alice. Let’s take this step by step.” He extended his hand, palm down. “Come with me. Let’s get you to your appointment with Nancy.“
    She pushed back her fear. He was messing with her. He had to be. She couldn’t possibly be the girl she’d seen last night and still have all the memories she had of herself as Christy. The orphanage, Austin, high school…
    “Alice?”
    She walked forward and took his hand.
    “That’a girl.”
    Lawson led her from the room, turned to their right, and walked down the empty hallway. His hand was