has absolutely no idea how things work nowadays. Itâs nice.â
âRefreshing,â he surmised.
âYes.â She nodded. âRefreshing.â
âItâs funny, isnât it,â Ian said, âhow people who are fond of saying it âlike it isâ or who enjoy âbeing truthfulâ actually only ever say nasty things. Have you noticed that? Whoever heard, âI like to say it how it is and that food was amazing !ââ
Tina laughed. âYeah, or, âIâm only being truthful, but she looked fantastic !ââ
And just like that, the two were laughing, like they knew each other.
âWhat are you two scheming about?â Miss Pottertonâs voice boomed out as she made her way along the corridor to the sitting room.
Ian and Tina both stepped backwards, emphasising the conspiratorial nature of their chat.
âNothing, Cordelia. We were just talking about Tunbridge Wells,â Ian offered cheerily.
âUrgh! Iâm afraid the furthest outside of London Iâm prepared to venture is Chiswick.â
Ian and Tina exchanged a glance, neither of them willing to introduce the idea that Chiswick was in London.
âLovely to see you, Ian.â
âYou too.â He presented his aunt with a wrapped book, which she set to one side.
Miss Potterton took a seat at the elaborately set table.
âThis looks absolutely wonderful!â Ian placed his hands on his hips and surveyed the vintage china and silver cake stands, the ornate sugar bowl with matching tongs, the sparkling crystal champagne glasses and the purple and cream tulips that had been artfully arranged in slender bud vases. He noted the nine place settings. âWhoâs joining us today?â
âWe have a select and refined group of interesting minds, including some very high-profile local residents, who will provide witty repartee over tea.â His aunt nodded, a stern expression on her face.
âOh gosh, donât know how witty Iâm feeling!â He pulled a wide-mouthed face at Tina.
âDonât fret, dear. You were only invited to make up the numbers.â Miss Potterton smiled at her nephew. âAnd talking of making up the numbers, where is that wife of yours?â
âHelen?â
âI am intrigued by your need to qualify. Is there another?â She tilted her head towards him to better hear the response.
âHa! No, no! No other, ermâ¦â He swallowed. âSheâs busy. Sheâs working, on her Spanish thing, so she canât make it, but she did send her very best regards and many happy returns of the day.â
âI bet she did.â His aunt spoke loudly but with her head turned, as though she were whispering.
âIâll remove her place setting and wiggle everything around a bit.â Tina smiled as she piled up the redundant side plate, cup and saucer. Holding the cutlery and napkin in her other hand, she whipped the lot into the kitchen, where Marley had the kettle full, the sandwiches wrapped and the cakes chilling, all ready for the nod from his mother.
âOne down, Iâm afraid.â She kept her voice low.
âDid they die?â Marley asked.
She stood in front of her son. âWhat do you mean, did they die? Of course not! Theyâre just stuck in Tunbridge Wells! What a thing to say, Marl!â
âWhat? Donât look at me like that! I just thought, you know, sheâs really old and her friends are all really old and so maybe one of them had died, which is sad, but also good.â
âIn what way could it possibly be good?â
âCos I can have their chocolate eclair!â He laughed.
Tina tutted. âYou can have one anyway, cheeky boy, and what about your healthy eating?â
âOne eclair wonât hurt, Mum. Iâll just have to train a bit harder tomorrow.â He patted his flat, hard stomach.
âAh, love, you might think youâre chips and
Learning to Kill: Stories