Miss Potterton's Birthday Tea by Amanda Prowse Read Free Book Online

has absolutely no idea how things work nowadays. It’s nice.’
    â€˜Refreshing,’ he surmised.
    â€˜Yes.’ She nodded. ‘Refreshing.’
    â€˜It’s funny, isn’t it,’ Ian said, ‘how people who are fond of saying it “like it is” or who enjoy “being truthful” actually only ever say nasty things. Have you noticed that? Whoever heard, “I like to say it how it is and that food was amazing !”’
    Tina laughed. ‘Yeah, or, “I’m only being truthful, but she looked fantastic !”’
    And just like that, the two were laughing, like they knew each other.
    â€˜What are you two scheming about?’ Miss Potterton’s voice boomed out as she made her way along the corridor to the sitting room.
    Ian and Tina both stepped backwards, emphasising the conspiratorial nature of their chat.
    â€˜Nothing, Cordelia. We were just talking about Tunbridge Wells,’ Ian offered cheerily.
    â€˜Urgh! I’m afraid the furthest outside of London I’m prepared to venture is Chiswick.’
    Ian and Tina exchanged a glance, neither of them willing to introduce the idea that Chiswick was in London.
    â€˜Lovely to see you, Ian.’
    â€˜You too.’ He presented his aunt with a wrapped book, which she set to one side.
    Miss Potterton took a seat at the elaborately set table.
    â€˜This looks absolutely wonderful!’ Ian placed his hands on his hips and surveyed the vintage china and silver cake stands, the ornate sugar bowl with matching tongs, the sparkling crystal champagne glasses and the purple and cream tulips that had been artfully arranged in slender bud vases. He noted the nine place settings. ‘Who’s joining us today?’
    â€˜We have a select and refined group of interesting minds, including some very high-profile local residents, who will provide witty repartee over tea.’ His aunt nodded, a stern expression on her face.
    â€˜Oh gosh, don’t know how witty I’m feeling!’ He pulled a wide-mouthed face at Tina.
    â€˜Don’t fret, dear. You were only invited to make up the numbers.’ Miss Potterton smiled at her nephew. ‘And talking of making up the numbers, where is that wife of yours?’
    â€˜Helen?’
    â€˜I am intrigued by your need to qualify. Is there another?’ She tilted her head towards him to better hear the response.
    â€˜Ha! No, no! No other, erm…’ He swallowed. ‘She’s busy. She’s working, on her Spanish thing, so she can’t make it, but she did send her very best regards and many happy returns of the day.’
    â€˜I bet she did.’ His aunt spoke loudly but with her head turned, as though she were whispering.
    â€˜I’ll remove her place setting and wiggle everything around a bit.’ Tina smiled as she piled up the redundant side plate, cup and saucer. Holding the cutlery and napkin in her other hand, she whipped the lot into the kitchen, where Marley had the kettle full, the sandwiches wrapped and the cakes chilling, all ready for the nod from his mother.
    â€˜One down, I’m afraid.’ She kept her voice low.
    â€˜Did they die?’ Marley asked.
    She stood in front of her son. ‘What do you mean, did they die? Of course not! They’re just stuck in Tunbridge Wells! What a thing to say, Marl!’
    â€˜What? Don’t look at me like that! I just thought, you know, she’s really old and her friends are all really old and so maybe one of them had died, which is sad, but also good.’
    â€˜In what way could it possibly be good?’
    â€˜Cos I can have their chocolate eclair!’ He laughed.
    Tina tutted. ‘You can have one anyway, cheeky boy, and what about your healthy eating?’
    â€˜One eclair won’t hurt, Mum. I’ll just have to train a bit harder tomorrow.’ He patted his flat, hard stomach.
    â€˜Ah, love, you might think you’re chips and