Monkey and Me by David Gilman Read Free Book Online

not to say Mark wasn’t worried, he was – he had to think of what to tell Mum and Dad. He said he’d told them that I was sleeping over at Skimp’s, who’s got a new X-Box. And Mum had said she hoped I wasn’t playing any violent video games.
    He promised her I wasn’t.
    Whatever it was scuffled like a huge rat and I could hear it snorting. Maybe Peacock’s Feather had been in here breeding and had created a monster beyond description. It probably drooled blood and ate any living flesh it could find. I held my breath. It was just there at the end of the dark patch where the light filtered down the stairs. I couldn’t see it because it had edged into the darkness. All I could hear was my heart pounding away in my chest trying to find a way out. Then something in the darkness moved. I pushed my shoulders back against an old door – and pushed – and pushed!
    It gave way and I was suddenly in another part of the big old country house kitchen. Moonlight slanted through a skylight high in the ceiling. Huge wooden tables and big slate floors made it look like a medieval torture chamber. I scrabbled backwards as fast as I could, keeping my eyes on the open door, and then I heard it coming! I closed my eyes. And screamed! Then I fell like a bag of cement and felt the wind whistle out of me. That really hurt, and I kept my eyes tightly closed. If I couldn’t see it, then it might not see me.
    Then it was on me.
    In an instant I decided to play dead. If it thought I was as dead as a pork chop it might not tear me to pieces. But I couldn’t stop screaming. Then I realised it wasn’t me making all that noise – it was the monster. Screaming and chattering and howling like a mad monkey in a zoo.
    It was a monkey!
    A flat-nosed hairy face with big brown eyes was sniffing me and its breath was worse than Peacock’s Feather’s. I looked at it and it looked at me. I think it was more frightened than I was. Though I wouldn’t like to take bets on that.
    Me terrified.
    Chimpanzee terrified.
    Words were trying to come out my mouth, but they couldn’t connect with my brain, and I heard myself say: “My name is Beanie and I won’t hurt you. I promise.” As if I could do anything – it was sitting on my chest and had a very peculiar smell, a bit like a wet dog who has rolled in something not that nice.
    The chimpanzee’s teeth grinned down at me, its lips pulled back, and then it made funny whoo whoo whoo sounds and screamed again. I nearly wet myself.
    Then it jumped off me and drummed the floor with its feet and hands. I still couldn’t escape because it was between me and the door. I sat up and gently edged towards the big table legs. I thought if I tried to run it would just jump on my back and bite my head off. So I decided the best course of action was to be as quiet as possible and hope it didn’t hear my heart beating as loudly as its hands on the floor. I promise you it was so loud we could have had a drumming session together.
    It stopped and looked at me. It seemed a little nervous. Its eyes darted around the room but kept coming back to me, checking me out, seeing if I was going to… do what? Attack it? Neither of us moved. I smiled as bravely as I could.
    It pulled back its lips and bared its teeth. So did I. I thought that if I did what it did it might not attack me and it might understand how scared I was. The monkey looked at me and put its hand over its face and peeped through its fingers. So did I. Then it drummed the stone floor again with the palms of its hands and made a screeching noise. So I tried that as well. The monkey seemed to go a bit berserk. It did a couple of back flips, a tumble, rolled over on itshead and sat down again looking at me. I didn’t think I could manage that.
    Suddenly it stood up, raised its arms above its head and grabbed an old soup ladle and started banging it against the cupboards. I got