Mr Gum and the Biscuit Billionaire by Andy Stanton Read Free Book Online Page A

Time
    1 ‘BAG OF STICKS’
    (A picture of a bag of sticks for half an hour)
    2 ‘BAG OF STICKS CHRISTMAS SPECIAL’
    (A dead robin lying by the bag of sticks)
    3 ‘LEGMASH’
    (People breaking their legs in real accidents)
    4 ‘NO! PUT THAT DOWN!’
    (Parents in supermarkets refusing to buy their children sweets)
    5 ‘BAG OF STICKS: BEHIND THE MAGIC’
    (4-hour-documentary about the making of ‘Bag of Sticks’, including interviews with the director, the cameraman and the dead robin)
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Mrs Lovely’s Top 5 Sweet Ingredients
    1   Sorry, can’t tell you, it’s a secret
    2   Another secret
    3   Forget it, this one’s just too secret to tell
    4   Sorry, no
    5   Aniseed
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Martin Launderette’s Favourite Washing Machine Settings
    1    COLD WASH
    2    COLD WASH, EXTRA SPIN
    3    GENTLE RINSE
    4    DELICATE WASH, NO SPIN (good for woollens)
    5    Just chuck it all in, turn it up as high as it goes and see what happens
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Some Little-Known Facts About Old Granny
    1   Old Granny was always called Old Granny, even when she was a little girl
    2   Old Granny is a bit deaf. I said, OLD GRANNY IS A BIT DEAF!
    3   Old Granny once won the Olympics by accident when she ran for a bus
    4   Old Granny has got a tattoo of Queen Victoria on her ankle
    5   Queen Victoria had a tattoo of Old Granny on her ankle
    6   Old Granny holds the world record for being Old Granny
    7   Old Granny can’t whistle no good. It’s all out of tune
    8   Old Granny can fly
    9   Not really
    10 Old Granny can’t speak Russian
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10 of the Most Expensive Things in Alan Taylor’s Mansion
    1   Portrait of Leonardo da Vinci painted by Mona Lisa
    2   Shakespeare’s right hand in a jar
    3   Piece of paper with first ever game of noughts and crosses on it
*
    4   A really nice table
    5   Machine that can video your dreams
    6   A cat with ten thousand pounds tied on to its tail
    7   Suit of armour worn by Beethoven in a fight against Mozart
    8   Largest banana ever grown (nearly twice the size of normal banana)
    9   Valuable golden peanut
    10  Signed photo of the Loch Ness Monster
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    *
It was a draw

About the author
    Andy Stanton
lives in North London. He studied English at Oxford but they kicked him out. He has been a stand-up comedian, a film script reader, a cartoonist, an NHS lackey and lots of other things. He has many interests, but best of all he likes cartoons, books and music (even jazz). One day he’d like to live in New York or Berlin or one of those places because he’s got fantasies of bohemia. His favourite expression is ‘Please, sir,’ and his favourite word is ‘proletariat’. This is his second book.
About the illustrator
    David Tazzyman
lives in South London with his girlfriend, Melanie, and their son, Stanley. He grew up in Leicester, studied illustration at Manchester Metropolitan University and then travelled around Asia for three years before moving to London in 1997. He likes football, cricket, biscuits, music and drawing. He dislikes celery.
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    Visit www.egmont.co.uk/ Authors Name for further information on your favourite Egmont author.

You’re A Bad Man, Mr Gum!
    by Andy Stanton
    Yes , here it is! The book that started it all! Full of all your favourite characters, including Mr Gum, Billy William the Third, Friday O’Leary, Polly and Crafty Tom – the Tyrannosaurus rex with a heart of gold. *
    Gasp! As Mr Gum tries to poison a massive whopper of a dog!
    Giggle! As Friday O’Leary juggles five ping pong balls and a banana!
    Do something else beginning with a ‘ G ’ ! As Polly races to save the day with her