cant be whip cause he belong to Miss Watson.
The days he with her I dont sees him much. When he in the fields I sees him with his crew but I scared to look. Scared he wont be there when I looks again.
I sees him at night. Sometimes we goes courting in the woods. One night we stays till morning. Come back cover in blackberry juice. He gonna carry me off to freedom he say and never let me go. He sleeping with me and everybody know it. The other mens leave me lone.
We stays with Cora and the babies. We gots to be real quiet. Since Cora cant see hardly nothing she hear every little thing.
At first I lets him kiss me. I aint sleeps with nobody since Mama die. Since Mas sell my friend Gwen. It feel good having somebody warm gainst me. And his hands strong and hard like mine. He rub my shoulders and loose the sore of the fields. I finds myself getting ornery when he smile at another gal.
You been kissing gals at the docks I says.
He laugh.
You been kissing white gals I says.
Gal so white she might be white he say. Cant know for sure.
I aint wants you kissing me no more I says. You gonna leave me for some yellow gal.
I aint gonna leave you for nobody. You the only one I wants to kiss.
He sound real serious.
Tell me bout the other gals I says.
He lay back with his hands behind his head. Let me see he say.
Theys a gal come to market every day for her mistress. If she find me there she kiss me. From the time I just a boy she looking for me. I aint likes her at first and the other boys tease me. But when I gets a little older I starts looking for her too. She wear a hat that gal. Straw with a fat green ribbon. Her mistress give it to her one Christmas.
He lay real still.
One day not long ago I seen her boarding a steamer he say. Chain round her leg. Belly big with child. They say she throw herself in the river fore they make Cairo. They say she big with a baby for her mas. Her mistress done sell her away.
I aint wants to hear no more I says. We holds hands and he fall asleep. Take me a long time to sleep. I thinking on that gal. I thinks on her a long time fore I falls asleep. I wakes up in a sweat.
I looks at Jim still sleeping. In my heart I binds to him. He sleeping sound but I with that gal. I gets up and walks outside. I takes in the night sky and thinks bout her. I thinks bout her baby. If they spirits free. If they still in the river or already come back.
His hands hard but his face soft. I wants him all day. When I sorts the tobacco when I sings when I eats when I gets up in the morning when the sun beat down on my neck when my fingers ache with the long day. But I stays away from him. When he come to sleep I turns away. He ask whats vexing me but I shamed to say it. I scared to love anyone. Everybody I ever loves been taken from me.
One night he aint come.
I cant sleeps that night. The babies up crying and me up crying with them. Cora say hush. Got to be a fool crying bout some man she say. Aint I learns you better than that. He out having his fun. Why he want to be in here with you when you aint even talk to him. In my heart I knows she right. But I too scared to say my truth.
When I sees him the next morning he got a feather in his hat.
I gots my knife in my hand.
He aint never look at me. Just come in put his sack down and pick up one them babies. He hold it close to him and sing.
Why you crying little baby. Your mama aint in the fields. This Sunday morning and she gonna come see you.
He rock it like that and sing. He looking at me from the corner where he standing. I sees him looking at my knife. He keep rocking and singing. Knife shaking in my hand. I puts it in my pocket.
I takes you on a Sunday walk he say. Come walk with me in the woods and tell me what you know.
I takes hold the broom. I gonna sweep him out the place. But I sees Cora listening for my answer.
I gots to sweep the yard I says.
You aint got to do nothing gal.
Cora grab the broom from my hand. You go on and see what that fella
The days he with her I dont sees him much. When he in the fields I sees him with his crew but I scared to look. Scared he wont be there when I looks again.
I sees him at night. Sometimes we goes courting in the woods. One night we stays till morning. Come back cover in blackberry juice. He gonna carry me off to freedom he say and never let me go. He sleeping with me and everybody know it. The other mens leave me lone.
We stays with Cora and the babies. We gots to be real quiet. Since Cora cant see hardly nothing she hear every little thing.
At first I lets him kiss me. I aint sleeps with nobody since Mama die. Since Mas sell my friend Gwen. It feel good having somebody warm gainst me. And his hands strong and hard like mine. He rub my shoulders and loose the sore of the fields. I finds myself getting ornery when he smile at another gal.
You been kissing gals at the docks I says.
He laugh.
You been kissing white gals I says.
Gal so white she might be white he say. Cant know for sure.
I aint wants you kissing me no more I says. You gonna leave me for some yellow gal.
I aint gonna leave you for nobody. You the only one I wants to kiss.
He sound real serious.
Tell me bout the other gals I says.
He lay back with his hands behind his head. Let me see he say.
Theys a gal come to market every day for her mistress. If she find me there she kiss me. From the time I just a boy she looking for me. I aint likes her at first and the other boys tease me. But when I gets a little older I starts looking for her too. She wear a hat that gal. Straw with a fat green ribbon. Her mistress give it to her one Christmas.
He lay real still.
One day not long ago I seen her boarding a steamer he say. Chain round her leg. Belly big with child. They say she throw herself in the river fore they make Cairo. They say she big with a baby for her mas. Her mistress done sell her away.
I aint wants to hear no more I says. We holds hands and he fall asleep. Take me a long time to sleep. I thinking on that gal. I thinks on her a long time fore I falls asleep. I wakes up in a sweat.
I looks at Jim still sleeping. In my heart I binds to him. He sleeping sound but I with that gal. I gets up and walks outside. I takes in the night sky and thinks bout her. I thinks bout her baby. If they spirits free. If they still in the river or already come back.
His hands hard but his face soft. I wants him all day. When I sorts the tobacco when I sings when I eats when I gets up in the morning when the sun beat down on my neck when my fingers ache with the long day. But I stays away from him. When he come to sleep I turns away. He ask whats vexing me but I shamed to say it. I scared to love anyone. Everybody I ever loves been taken from me.
One night he aint come.
I cant sleeps that night. The babies up crying and me up crying with them. Cora say hush. Got to be a fool crying bout some man she say. Aint I learns you better than that. He out having his fun. Why he want to be in here with you when you aint even talk to him. In my heart I knows she right. But I too scared to say my truth.
When I sees him the next morning he got a feather in his hat.
I gots my knife in my hand.
He aint never look at me. Just come in put his sack down and pick up one them babies. He hold it close to him and sing.
Why you crying little baby. Your mama aint in the fields. This Sunday morning and she gonna come see you.
He rock it like that and sing. He looking at me from the corner where he standing. I sees him looking at my knife. He keep rocking and singing. Knife shaking in my hand. I puts it in my pocket.
I takes you on a Sunday walk he say. Come walk with me in the woods and tell me what you know.
I takes hold the broom. I gonna sweep him out the place. But I sees Cora listening for my answer.
I gots to sweep the yard I says.
You aint got to do nothing gal.
Cora grab the broom from my hand. You go on and see what that fella
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