Naked in Saigon by Colin Falconer Read Free Book Online Page B

happiness you have to control it, have all the pieces perfectly in place, or else you’re going to lose it.
    When Connor talked about kids I was surprised that it was me that wanted to put it off. I heard myself saying: I don’t think it’s time .
    You couldn’t plan it out in the end; you couldn’t make a list and find happiness when you finally ticked everything off. It was an unpredictable accident. I didn’t even know if there was such a thing as a happy ending anymore and if there was I didn’t have the first clue how to find it.
    I just hoped it was out there, somewhere, waiting for me.
    I reached over the table and took his hand. “Let’s go home,” I said.
    “Just two more weeks.”
    “I’m afraid, Connor.”
    “I can’t walk away from this. I’m thinking Pultizer Prize, honey.”
    “I’m thinking funeral, sweetheart.”
    “I can’t let these guys scare me off, what kind of journalist would that make me?”
    “A live one.”
    He shook his head. “I can’t,” he repeated.
    A thought came to the back of my mind and I tried to push it away. If he dies I will be free.
    Is that what I want?
    “I’m going home, Connor, with or without you.”
    “If that’s what you want.”
    “I want a normal life.”
    I waited for him to say something but he just bit his lip and shook his head.
    “You’ll wait for me?” he said, finally.
    “I don’t know.”
    I remembered what he had said and the look on his face when he said it: “I don’t know what I’d do if you ever left me. I mean it. I’d die without you now.”
    “Don’t do this. Please.”
    “I am not going to sit by and watch you kill yourself.”
    “Just give me another two weeks.”
    If he died, I would always know there was a part of me that wished for it. The only way I could sleep easy was by saving him from himself. I knew Angel meant what he said. What the hell was I supposed to do?
    “I’m booking a flight back to New York tomorrow. If you love me, you’ll be on it.”
    We sat there for a long time staring at each other across the table. Finally he got up and left and he still hadn’t given me an answer.
     
     
     
     

Chapter 13

     
    REYES
    He met Walt in the Givral for croissants and cafe au lait. Walt liked the place because it was air-conditioned. Even though he had worked in Asia and the Caribbean all his life, he was born and bred in Michigan, and he still wasn’t accustomed to the heat and sweat poured of him in rivulets every time he stepped outside.
    He crammed the rest of his croissant in his mouth and shook his head. “You look like crap, Reyes.”
    “Thanks.”
    “No, I mean it. What’s up with you? I never seen you looking so hangdog. Is this about what happened in the bar?”
    “It’s not the bar, Walt. I’ve spent my life dodging bullets.”
    He nodded over the road at the Caravelle. “So is it her?” A beat. “Come on, Reyes, we’ve known each other a long time, let’s cut through all the bullshit. I hear you did look her up after all.”
    “Since when has my private life been agency business?”
    “It’s not. I’m just curious.”
    Reyes wasn’t accustomed to talking about things that didn’t concern anyone else. But this morning he felt like he needed to talk to someone. “I guess I just wanted to see her one last time,” he said.
    “Now, I ask myself what does that mean? Seeing someone one last time.” It implies unfinished business. I’ve known you a long time and you never go back.”
    “This thing is never going to happen. I met this guy, her husband, he came looking for me. He’s a blowhard but he loves her, he’s nuts about her. I’m not even thinking about it.”
    “You’re nuts about her, too.”
    “I blew it. You only get one chance at these things. And besides, I don’t go stealing other men’s wives, even if I can. I’ve done a lot of things I’m not proud of but I never did anything like that and I’m not adding it to my list of sins, it’s long