Nakoa's Woman by Gayle Rogers Read Free Book Online

made no struggle for she knew what he sought. He wanted to know if she had seduced the man he had almost killed, and Maria knew with certainty that if she had, her captor would know it, and if he saw this upon her face, he would probably kill her. She was his and in his awful way he would have her and she would be possessed in his darkness or would die. Maria met his eyes without flinching. She had sought only escape. Without a word to her then, he turned away, and finally they both slept, their bodies bringing warmth to each other.
    In sleep they met, and while Maria remained in drugged sleep the man awakened and saw in her body a desire for total consummation that made him nothing beside it. He had lain with naked women before, but never had he felt a desire like the one that overpowered him now. He wanted to kiss and caress every part of her, and yet he knew that he wanted her too strongly to have her when she was not ready for him. Deprivation had long been part of his training to be a man, and now this was no different. While she slept he kept his lips from her, and he kept himself from going inside of her, but gently he caressed every part of her anyway, and the lightness of his touch and the continuance of her sleep was the sweetest agony he had ever known.
    And while she slept, Maria again sought the waters, but now they were golden green, and much closer to the sun she had always known. She drifted happily in them, but not crazily. She could go to their depths, but ascend at will, and in union with blackness she was free and was nothing and everything. Lightly the waters caressed her breasts, her throat, her lips. Her long black hair floated out lazily behind her. She circled and dove and came joyously up behind it, her lovely black hair floating so happily in the warm waters. The winds were all still. Shadows of cool caverns were far below, where she might go some day, if she so wished. But here the lips of the waters were sweeter than wine, than flowers in the spring; and here she would linger and let the wondrous lips find all of her, and in a miracle, find and meet them. She could draw the waters inside of her too. She would lie upon her back and accept them as a woman lies upon her back and accepts a man; and in accepting she would be nothing, for she would accept so much that she herself would be gone.
    The man who had held her so gently felt her response, the swelling of her breasts, the quickening of an excited heart, and he kissed her mouth long and hungrily, only to see her eyes open in startled and wounded fear. The heat that had flashed over him at the touch of her lips beneath his own left him weak and shaken, and the terror upon her face made him sick. In real pain, he left her in the warmth of the robe and sought her dress. It was dry enough for her to wear, and taking it to her, he left it there for her to put on. He watched her as she struggled to dress under the robe and smiled in spite of himself. When she was dressed, she lay down and pretended to sleep. He knew that she did not sleep, for he detected tears upon her cheeks. He fought a trembling within himself again, so desperately did he want to go to her and kiss them away.
    And so I live, Maria thought bitterly. My heart beats, and my stomach accepts food, my lungs seek air, and all of this allows me to live so that animal can rape me today, tomorrow, and forever, or as long as I shall live.
    Remembering the sound of the rifle she thought that if a white man had been in this area, he was gone now, and so was all opportunity of her escape. She knew now that the remainder of her life rested upon the discretion of this one man, this Indian, godless, and to her even nameless, whom she would be reluctant ever to defy again.
    For twelve more nights they rode toward the great North Star, and for twelve more days they slept hidden in the protective shelter of the woods. They crossed a chain of mountains and then took to the prairie once more.
    After the