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her it had been kind of hard.
    She hadn’t told
anyone but Seth about the pregnancy yet, so she’d basically gone through it
alone. Rather than making her feel nurturing and motherly, it had terrified
her. Concrete evidence of what was happening inside her body.
    Maybe she would
have felt differently if she’d had a husband to experience the heartbeat with
her, but she’d left the appointment feeling rather strange and uncomfortable.
Wondered if it was proof that she was an unnatural mother. “They did an
ultrasound at my last appointment, and the heartbeat is normal.”
    Another long
pause from Seth. “And I’m just hearing about it now?”
     “Was I
supposed to report it to you? It was just a routine thing.”
    Seth’s voice
was a little tight as he responded. “I thought I’d made it clear that I wanted
to be involved in the pregnancy and not just wait until the child is born.”
    “Well, yeah, but
I thought...I mean, I didn’t know I was going to have to tell you every little
thing.” She scowled, feeling horrible and now annoyed with Seth for making her
feel like she’d done something wrong. “Would you like to know how many times I
throw up each week? Or how many times I have to get up to pee every night? Just
what kind of involvement are you expecting?”
    “You’re being
intentionally obtuse. You obviously know there’s a difference between that and
the first detection of the heartbeat.”
    “For God’s
sake,” Erin complained, knowing he had a point but kind of surprised by it. Who
would have thought Seth Thomas would want to hear about such a thing? “Don’t
get snotty. I’m sorry. I should have let you know. I guess I didn’t think
that’s what you meant by being involved.”
    “And what did
you think I did mean then?”
    Erin thought
for a moment. Admitted, “I have no idea. I’m sorry. Next time something like
that happens, I’ll let you know.”
    Her words were
followed by another tense silence. “And I suppose it’s also unimaginable that I
might not want to merely hear about it afterwards?”
    She actually
groaned—only partly because she felt so wretchedly ill. “Are you kidding me? You’re
saying you want to be there at the appointments? Please don’t tell me you’re
getting sappy ideas about this whole endeavor and you want to hold my hand or
something.”
    “It’s not
prompted by sappiness, so no need for you to cringe.” He still sounded a little
unpleasant. “But I told you I wanted to be involved. My understanding is that
it’s a fairly typical father’s involvement.”
    “Maybe, but
we’re not in a relationship, and I’m not that thrilled about your being present
at my pelvic exams. I don’t want things to get weird between us.”
    The quality of Seth’s
silence was different than before, and she could tell he wasn’t annoyed now but
rather sorting through his thoughts. “When is your next scheduled ultrasound?”
    “I don’t know. They
don’t just do them at the drop of a hat, so it might be a while before—”
    “I’ll contact
your doctor.”
    “You sure as
hell will not ! They wouldn’t talk to you anyway. I’ll find out and let
you know. You can come to the next one if you want, but I’m not going to invite
you to everything. Just because I’m having a baby doesn’t mean I have to give
up all my privacy.”
    “Agreed. Call
my office with the time and place of the next ultrasound.’
    Erin muttered
under her breath for a minute. Then said, “If you descend into gooey sentiment
over this pregnancy, I’ll be greatly disappointed in you.”
     “No worries on
that score, but I’ve told you more than once now that I want to be involved.”
     “Fine. You
better be nice to me, you know. My hormones have been going crazy, so I might
burst into tears at any second.”
    “I’ll tread
lightly. Thanks for the warning.” It sounded like he might be smiling. “Does
anyone else know about this yet?”
    She wondered
how he’d known to ask