that question. “Not yet. I’ve got to tell my dad and Liz this
weekend. Everyone else...whenever.”
“What will you
tell people at work?”
“I was thinking
about that. I don’t want anyone to think there’s some sort of conflict of
interest, with my working for the judge and being pregnant with your child, so
I was hoping not to let people know—”
“Yes,” Seth interrupted.
“I agree. I’d rather not have it gossiped about all over the stratosphere anyway.
We should keep this quiet, as much as possible.”
She let out a
relieved sigh.
“Are you in a
relationship with someone for which this will be a negative factor?”
It was such an
indirectly worded question that it took Erin a minute to figure out what he was
asking. “Am I dating anyone, you mean? No. Not at the moment. And, with the way
things normally go, probably not for a really long time.”
“I guess being
pregnant might discourage some men.”
He sounded
amused, so she responded in kind. “You’re one of those men, right? You’d never
date a pregnant chick, would you?”
“I don’t know—”
She snorted.
“Now who’s
making hasty assumptions based on lack of evidence?”
“What do you
mean lack of evidence? I have the evidence of a whole line of gorgeous women
you’ve dated for the last ten years. Not one of them was pregnant. That’s
evidence coming out of the—”
“All right.
Enough.”
She stopped
talking automatically, and then was furious with herself for letting him tell
her what to do, even in something so small.
She was about
to keep talking, merely to prove that she could, but her stomach started
churning dangerously. “I’ll let you know about the next ultrasound. I’ve got to
eat dinner or else I might throw up.”
“Okay. Get
something to eat. Keep me updated.”
They hung up,
and Erin took a deep breath before hauling herself to her feet. She was a
little dizzy at first, so she kept breathing deeply, holding on to the arm of
the couch for support.
“Ridiculous,”
she muttered faintly. “Why the hell am I doing this?”
There was no
answer. Not from her empty apartment. Not from her stomach. She couldn’t even
answer the question for herself.
She took a step
toward the kitchen, resolving that tomorrow after work she’d make sure to eat
something before she collapsed on the couch.
On her fourth
step, she realized she was too late, so she had a very unpleasant interlude dry
heaving into a wastebasket.
***
Two days later, she sat in her
father’s warm, messy kitchen. She’d asked him to put up the dirty dishes, since
seeing them now sometimes made her want to gag, but there were still books and
papers scattered around, as well as piles of unopened mail.
But that was
just her father, and the sight of such sloppiness was familiar and reassuring.
She’d just
explained to him about her pregnancy and what her plans were for the future. Now
she was sitting nervously, trying to study his face, praying he wouldn't be
disappointed in her.
Finally, he
furrowed his brow. “You’re pregnant? By Seth Thomas? But you’re going to raise
the child on your own?”
She nodded, her
throat closing up at his disbelieving tone. “I am. It was a really difficult
decision, and I know it might be hard to understand. And I'm sure it’s not what
you might have wanted for me.”
She swallowed
hard, feeling unexpectedly emotional. Hormones, probably. “But this is what I
want to do, and I hope you know I didn’t go out and do something careless to
get myself into it. I mean, we took precautions, but...” She hoped this would
be enough explanation of that particular concern, because she really didn’t
want to discuss condom failure with her father. “I know it might take a little
while to get used to the idea, so you don’t have to say anything now if you
don’t want to. I’m prepared to do this on my own. I’m not going to be expecting
anyone’s help.”
“On your own?”
he repeated, his face
John B. Garvey, Mary Lou Widmer