Nancy’s Theory of Style by Unknown Read Free Book Online

cotton
sweater, a leopard print miniskirt, and black boots.
      “Milagro,
hon, que sera sera!” Nancy said and the friends exchanged kisses. “I am so loving the cat woman vibe.”
    “Que sera, yourself, Nancita,” Milagro
said as they followed the hostess to their table. “Are you coming to the show
with me after dinner?”
    “You know that jazz puts me into a
parabolic trooper.”
    “I suspect that it’s the sake shooters
that put you in a catatonic stupor,” Milagro said.
    Nancy reached into her bag and took out the
book she’d bought for her friend. “This is for you, although I don’t know if I
should be encouraging you.”
    “Eccentric Glamour! Thank you, Nancy . I shall study it
like the Dead Sea Scrolls for spiritual guidance.”
    While they ordered, Nancy looked around the restaurant. She loved
sushi because it was as delicious as it was attractive, but even more she liked
the simple elegance of the restaurant. There were pale birch tables and
bleached floors. She could see exactly what the chefs were doing, so there was
no chance of anyone spitting into her food if she complained.
    The waiter left and Nancy said, “The minor news is, and remember
no gloating, that I’m taking a break from Le Todd.”
    Milagro’s dark brown eyes widened and
then she slipped her hand briefly over Nancy ’s.
“I won’t gloat, but it would be nice if you never go back to him.”
    “Everyone hearts Todd, but you, and your
dislike is based on politics, my loony lefty pal.”
    “Not entirely! He repels me in myriad
ways.”
    Nancy held up her hand, palm outward. “Do not
go into specifics. I heart Todd, and Todd hearts me.”
    “You’ve been defensive about your
relationship with him since frosh year, and I don’t know if you actually heart
him, or merely say that.”
    “Neither do I,” Nancy admitted. “My antipathy for the house
is so overwhelming that I can’t tell how I feel about Todd anymore. I’m hoping
the time apart will give me a little clarity.”
    “I hope so, too, Nancy-fancypants,”
Milagro said. “How is Miss Winkles?”
    “As iridescent as ever,” Nancy said and shared a
smile with her friend. “Now for my news. You will never guess what I have!”
    “A venereal disease? The Holy Grail?”
    “Ewh to the first, but the Holy Grail
would look fab on my mantle,” she said. “I have a gay English assistant named Derek!”
    “You unspeakable bitch! I yearn for a
gay English assistant – but named Trevor, or maybe Clive. Is he fabulous?”
    “You think anyone in possession of a
penis is fabulous and, yes, he’s completely fabulous. He was wearing a shirt
the same color as the wisteria on my Aunt Frilly’s arbor. He calls me Mrs.
Carrington-Chambers in a way that makes me feel very Madame de Pompadour.”
    “Your head has sometimes resembled a
giant puffball, but I thought it was impolite to say anything.”
    “Jeanne-Antoinette Poisson was the
King’s mistress and the greatest fashionista of her time, including her hair,
you hysterical dance.”
    “Historical dunce?”
    “Heretically dense. I wish there were
more kings around these days.”
    “There is a surfeit of queens, and it
sounds as if you’ve got one of your own. How are you going to pay him? I
thought your money was controlled by your father slash trustee, who is fab, but
notably deficient of frivolousness.”
    “Alas, the frivolous gene is recessive. Todd
is gifting the assistant to me!”
    “Toad?” Milagro said. “Why would he do
that?”
    “He’s trying to support Froth. You
always think the worst of him and that’s why I’m always defensive about him
with you.” Nancy sighed. “Do you think I’ve overreacted to that house?”
    “How would I know since I’ve never been
invited there? He cut down ancient oaks and went behind your back.”
    “I can’t invite you because you and Todd
and the mutual hatred thing. Back to my story about hiring my fabulous new assistant,” Nancy said. She
placed her palms