understood.”
“I’ve always respected your feelings, but it just seems like…I don’t know…that we’ve stopped doing some of the things that used to be a big part of our social life.” Jamie listened to Sheryl pulling drawers open in the closet. She’d always been more conservative than Jamie when it came to being out as a lesbian. They’d talked about it a lot their first year of dating and worked out compromises that satisfied them both. “You won’t go to concerts with me any more, and we can’t do anything in Los Gatos, and we’ve stopped going out with a lot of our friends—”
“I don’t want to go to Melissa Etheridge concerts, and there are a million restaurants we can go to that aren’t in Los Gatos. Our friends were always your friends, and I want my own.” Sheryl appeared in the doorway to the closet, her serious expression at odds with her lacy panties and bra. “You were handed your business in your twenties, Jamie. I’m thirty-five and I deserve this promotion. I’m not taking any chances this time.”
“I know and I want you to be happy.” Sheryl held up two blouses and Jamie pointed to the gold sleeveless one. It picked up the highlights in her hair. Sheryl tossed the other one on top of the towel on the chair. “How about if I grill halibut for dinner?”
“And make the papaya salsa you did last time?”
“Yep. And I’ll get that Chardonnay you like.” Jamie walked over and wrapped her arms around Sheryl. Her body was warm and smelled like the lotion that matched her new perfume. The one she’d worn for years was sweet and tropical, and Jamie loved it. This one was sharp and tangy and not her favorite. When Sheryl went to the bathroom and started what Jamie called her makeup process, she carried the breakfast tray back to the kitchen.
Jamie fixed herself another cappuccino and took it to the glass-topped table on the patio. Might as well get a caffeine buzz. The patio around the rectangular pool was cluttered with the furniture Sheryl had seen in a magazine and ordered before they moved in so they could entertain in style. She could count on one hand the number of parties they’d had.
Putting on her sunglasses, she stared at the pool, thinking back to the hot June day when the realtor had shown them the house. Sheryl had slipped off her shoes, rolled up her pants, and sat on the edge dangling her feet in the water in a childlike gesture that melted Jamie’s heart. “I always wanted a house with a pool,” she’d said. “Our rich cousins had one, and they made fun of us because we didn’t.”
That’s the moment Jamie decided she could live with moving out of the house her parents had left her if it made Sheryl happy. Leaving behind so many memories had been harder than she’d thought, especially the memories of all the good times with her mom. She’d comforted herself with the certainty she was doing the right thing. After all, hadn’t her father made sacrifices to ensure her mom’s happiness?
“I’ll see you later,” Sheryl said from the doorway, looking good enough to eat in the blouse and yellow capris. “What are you doing today?”
“I’ll probably go in to the office.” Jamie looked longingly at the pool. Running and swimming had both been sacrificed since finding out about the embezzling.
“I appreciate how hard you’re working to get your problem fixed.”
“Do you remember when we first saw this house? You said you always wanted a pool?”
“I did? I don’t remember, but it adds value to the house.”
“Value? Yeah, I guess. But are you happy here?”
“For now. If I get that promotion we can look for something bigger.”
How much bigger did two people need, Jamie wondered as she watched Sheryl walk back to the house in heels that were way too high.
*
“Thanks for letting us crash your pool. This heat wave is crazy.” Penni handed Jamie an iced tea and sat on the chaise next to her. “God, she’s beautiful. Am I lucky or
Learning to Kill: Stories