Never Use a Chicken and Other Stories by Jim Newell Read Free Book Online

coulda’ been thinking there. I dunno. Just sat down here and my mind started turning over what to do with the money.”
    He had just said the magic word. The cramp in my leg disappeared and my mind came fully awake.
    “Didn’t you leave it on the dresser?”
    “Uh-huh. That wasn’t what I meant. I meant tomorrow or whenever. If we start spending it, people are going to wonder where we got it. When people wonder, that means they’re asking questions.”
    “Well you got it to pay off the debts, didn’t you?”
    “Sure. That’s a problem, too. If I start paying off a thousand here, five thousand there with cash, somebody’s going to tell somebody else, and especially this close after a bank hold-up, somebody’s going to think it’s a little strange.”
    My brain clicked in. I was remembering the robbery at a trust company at one of the malls the day before. I didn’t remember which trust company.
    “Well nobody’s going to connect you with a bank robbery, George. Accountants usually have better ways to rob their clients.”
    She giggled. It was a nice goofy giggle. I was remembering the radio said about twenty grand was taken. It was that much because the next day was a holiday. See! People who work nights don’t get to have holidays! Lots of people had been shopping the afternoon of the robbery so stores were making early cash deposits.
    “That’s not funny, Ginger.” George didn’t sound too happy. “I got twenty-two thousand dollars and I can’t do anything with it, not even deposit it in the bank, because I can’t account for it.”
    Holy smokes! I had wandered into the house of the bank robber. Twenty-two thousand, and he had left it sitting on the dresser in his bedroom.
    “I have an idea, George. “Her voice was soft and caressing. I thought I would like to see Ginger. I was even making bets with myself that I could guess why this accountant had got so far into debt that he had to do such a non-conservative accountant thing as to rob a bank. I stay away from that kind of thing, myself. Robbing banks, I mean.
    “Yeah?” He didn’t sound terribly interested. “What’s your idea?”
    “We could open a whole bunch of bank accounts in a whole bunch of banks. A thousand in one, two or three thousand in another. We could use several names and after a while start taking the money out and deposit it into one big account as though it was payment for fees or something.”
    There was silence from the sofa, although I could sense that somebody was moving from one end toward the other.
    “George?”
    The tone of her voice told me who had moved. He wasn’t going to hold out too long.
    “Yeah, honey. That doesn’t sound too bad. Yeah. Good idea. Yeah. That just might work. If I can stall the bank off for another week or so. Maybe I could make a small payment, fifteen hundred or something, and give them a firm promise of another thousand in a week’s time.”
    “Sure, sweetie. When they see that you can meet those promises, they’ll wait for the rest.”
    “Ginger, I love you. You have a real good head.”
    “The rest isn’t too bad either.” A nightie came over the back of the sofa and draped itself across my shoulders. “Is it, George?”
    The talk got predictably silly after that but I didn’t listen to the words. I knew where the conversation was going to lead and I was busy thinking about that twenty-two thousand bucks in the bedroom. I was also getting sleepy again. It’s awful being the right kind of person at the wrong time of day. Or night. I came awake again when the sofa began to move. My first thought was why didn’t they go back to bed for that kind of thing. Then I really woke up and put my mind in gear.
    “It’s your chance, dummy,” I scolded myself. “Come on, Herbie. Get going.”
    I got going. I also hoped Ginger kept her eyes closed because her head was away from the archway to the kitchen. Before I could think myself out of action I was in the kitchen heading for the