No Angel by Vivi Andrews Read Free Book Online Page B

expected never to say.
    Gerry beamed at her and scuttled back to perch on a stool she would swear hadn’t been there a minute ago. He crossed his legs and laced his fingers over one knee. “Complicated business, angelic quests. They never tell you everything you think they’re telling you.”
    “I hear you on that one. They didn’t tell me shit.”
    Gerry giggled, and again the sound seemed to travel around the room without him. “I like you, Christian. You’re funny. I can see why he chose you.”
    “I wasn’t aware a sense of humor was a criterion for being picked on by angels.” And she certainly hadn’t been trying to be funny. She waved the invitation again. “You’re the gatekeeper, right? I give you this and you let me in?”
    “Well—” Gerry swung his top leg, rocking on the stool, “—there is the small matter of the toll.”
    “Of course.” There was always a price. “And the toll is…?”
    “That’s a nice jacket.”
    “I don’t really think it’s your color,” Sasha retorted, already emptying the pockets of artillery and stripping the brick-red leather from her shoulders. She flung it at him and he caught it deftly, plucking at the seams with sharp little nails and humming happily.
    “Lovely workmanship. Thank you, Christian. I shall treasure it always.” He swung the jacket around his shoulders like a cape, the hem brushing the floor. “Now about your toll.”
    She wedged her Taser into her front jeans pocket, adjusting it so it didn’t bump the angelic .44 Magnum on her hip. “The jacket is my toll.”
    “Is it? Did I agree to that?” Gerry’s giggle roamed the room again. “Christian, Christian. You will never make it in Hell if that is how you make deals with devils. Giving me gifts before we agree to a price? You give me all the power in the negotiation.” He shook his head dolefully. “I like you, but the next demon may not be so generous.”
    So generous as to steal her favorite jacket. Damned Oompa-Loompa. “How does one make deals with devils?”
    “Very carefully.” He smiled viciously. “Angels, humans, you’re so direct. A demon never comes at a deal head-on. You cannot reveal what you really want. Exposing your desire makes you weak and dealing with demons is all about strength, getting everything while giving nothing. You give a compliment, offer something you have no intention of giving until your opponent reveals what they truly desire. Then you have the power, see? Angels have rules and brute force. We have strategy and finesse.”
    There was pride in his voice and Sasha was struck by the realization that she was talking to a real, live demon. It was a symptom of how insane her night had been that it had taken her this long before that whammy hit. She had never even seen a demon on television before. They were hermitlike with their privacy. And now, here she was, getting a crash course on demon negotiations from a devil himself.
    A thousand questions leapt into her mind— Are demons really evil? Why would they bother tempting man? Do they feel happiness? Joy? Love? —but she didn’t have time to interrogate Gerry. Jay had been in Hell for nearly two hours already. She had no idea what was happening to him and the longer she delayed, the more a gnawing sense of worry ate away at her insides.
    She needed to negotiate her entrance into the Underworld. Quickly.
    Give a compliment… “That’s a nice moustache.”
    Gerry preened, stroking the greasy curl on his upper lip. “You like it? My glamour was locked when I was imprisoned here, so I can’t change it, but I think it suits me. Don’t you?”
    “Definitely. It’s you.”
    “Douglas Fairbanks had one just like it, you know.”
    With those words, Sasha abruptly realized who Gerry reminded her of. The twenties moustache, the swashbuckling clothes, even his facial features were similar, with the exception of the horns. Geryon was Douglas Fairbanks as an Oompa-Loompa demon. She’d heard a