Noble Warrior by Alan Lawrence Sitomer Read Free Book Online

bag and disappeared, fearing for her life.
    When the FBI finally found her, Sarah leaped at the opportunity to rejoin her kids and enter into the Witness Security Program; she was thrilled at the idea of getting a second chance to be with
her children. McCutcheon expected to adore having his mother back in his life.
    He didn’t.
    People fight for what they love, M.D. thought. And she ran. If she really did care for her kids she would have been willing to die for them. Just like M.D. was willing to die for Gemma. But
spooked, Sarah turned tail and bailed to go save herself, and as a result McCutcheon and Gemma went through years of abusive hell. The next time they did see their mom, Sarah had put the broken
pieces of her life back together, landed a new job, and scored herself a cushy downtown condominium with a panoramic view of the skyline.
    Good for her, M.D. thought. Really fucking happy for ya, Mom.
    In Bellevue, the Daniels’s town house boasted trimmed hedges, a nicely painted red front door, and a flower bed near the entryway that made the outside appear charming. Yet it was all a
facade. Behind that nicely painted red front door, wars raged.
    “You fucking left us.”
    “Yes, I did.”
    “Picked up and ran.”
    “I have no defense.”
    “Real mothers don’t do that. Selfish, horrible mothers do.”
    “You think I don’t feel guilty?” Sarah said. “I’ve felt it every day since the moment I left.”
    “Don’t make this about you. You’re a piece of shit.”
    “You’re angry,” she said, tears pouring from her eyes. “But also,” Sarah lowered her head, “you’re right. I’m a terrible mother, an awful person,
Doc.”
    “Don’t call me that. Only one person is ever allowed to call me that and it’s not you. Got me...Sarah?”
    McCutcheon’s mother didn’t try to defend her actions. She hated herself for taking them. When the family first moved to Nebraska, Sarah tried to put on a brave face. Tried to pretend
the past was the past and that the family could move forward with smiles in their hearts toward a bigger, brighter future. But deep down she knew her cowardice had caused McCutcheon and Gemma
incredible, unforgettable pain.
    Good mothers don’t protect themselves at the expense of their children. Good mothers, good people, she knew, do what’s right despite how hard it might be. Gemma may have been too
young to understand all of this—but not M.D.
    He’d lived it. And he loathed her for it.
    Every time McCutcheon thought about his mother’s decision, anger surged in his heart. From this rage he felt strength—battle strength—yet he knew that drawing ferocity from the
toxic well of anger would end badly. Drinking from the cup of hate never ended in positive outcomes. Yet still his fury flowed, a silent rage that quietly but constantly fed his shackled inner
beast.
    He didn’t have to look hard to see how his monster had been born. He and the beast were at war and yet, they were one.
    Before five weeks had passed in their new life—a life filled with safe playgrounds, and nary a sound of gunfire—McCutcheon and Sarah spent almost no time together. The happy reunion
each one envisioned turned out to be fantasy. Delusional dreams the two held while apart, gave way to the reality of being together. McCutcheon did not respect his mom and she did not respect
herself, so when one of them was home, the other would find a convenient excuse to leave.
    Like departing extra early in the morning to go prepare for Back-to-School night.
    You fight for what you love
, McCutcheon believed.
You fight for it to the death.
    Then a question crossed M.D.’s mind.
    But do you kill for it? Dying for something and killing for something are not the same thing.
    “I was gonna make a desert habitat, but I made a jungle habitat instead, although I could have done something with fish.” Gemma held up a shoe box she’d converted into the
plains of Africa as McCutcheon tried to shake the fog