Lattimer.â
âHowâs the college search going? You still on the premed track?â Darrenâs mom had always talked about how good he was at math and science, and wasnât subtle about wanting him to become a doctor.
âThatâs the plan,â he said.
âYou looking at State at all?â
âYeah, and Columbia. Maybe even Yale.â
âA real brainiac, huh?â
Darren gave an embarrassed shrug and scuffed his shoe against our doormat, looking as massively uncomfortable as I felt.
âHowâs your mother doing?â my dad asked. âShe seeing anyone these days?â
Oh my God. Could he be more awkward? According to Aunt Carla, Dad and Ms. Kowalski had broken up because Ms. K still wasnât over her ex-husband, who had announced one day out of the blue that he was gay. Our whole town had buzzed about it for weeks; rumor was heâd fallen in love with an elementary school teacher.
âDad,â I interjected. âDarrenâs in the middle of a run. He probably needs to get going.â
âOf course. Well, good luck with colleges, Darren.â
âSure,â Darren said. He shot me a grateful glance. âSee you tomorrow, Krissy.â
I watched him lope off into the twilight before hunkering back down to my problem set. It wasnât until much later, after Ihad gone to bed, that it occurred to me that my dad never did get around to showing me whatever website heâd found. But it didnât matter, I decided.
Because itâs all a mistake .
CHAPTER 6
Sam met me at my locker Friday morning, like usual, and slung his arm across my shoulders while giving me a kiss on the forehead the way he always did. But all I could think of when he touched me was, I may have testicles .
âYou never called me yesterday,â he said. âDid you get my texts?â
âOh, yeah.â I tried to sound casual. âMy phone ran out of battery and I didnât get them until late.â
âAs long as youâre cool,â said Sam.
âYeah, Iâm cool,â I said, forcing a smile.
They say that the best hurdlers learn to compartmentalize. They break down each race into its components, and when they perfect the little things, the big picture comes together naturally.
So I focused on one piece of my life at a time. When Iwas in the car with Faith and Vee, I made sure not to mention Homecoming, and concentrated so hard on laughing and keeping my smile planted on my face that my cheeks hurt when I got home.
When Sam came over on Saturday afternoon to âstudyâ just like he always did, we fell into our make-out routine the way my feet slid into my worn running shoes. There were even a couple of moments when I allowed myself my usual fantasy where Sam proposed to me on graduation day. Weâd go to college, of course (Sam was still waiting to hear from State), and then work for a few years before buying a house in the burbs and having kids who ran and played lacrosse and football.
I guess Iâd forgotten about the part where I might not have a uterus.
The Monday of my specialistâs visit, I got through the day class by class. The urologist had scheduled me for her last appointment. I sleepwalked through bio, and felt like a robot during math. In my child development class we watched a video about shaken baby syndrome and it was so horrifying that I lost myself in that. Then there was English.
On Mondays, Ms. MacDowell always did class âseminar style.â As we moved our desks into a circle, she talked about how she always liked to teach The Merchant of Venice and Othello together because they were Shakespeareâs most problematic plays. âToday, letâs discuss how both plays unsettle assumptions and disturb the conscience with their portrayals of the Other.â
âYou mean by being racist and anti-Semitic?â Natalie Goldstein asked.
âAnd sexist,â Jessica added. âWomen