Not Looking For Love: Episode 1 by Lena Bourne Read Free Book Online Page B

losing the one you love, the one you married and built your life around, coils around them when they're together, lacing every word they speak to each other, and it's unbearable for me to watch.
    He hasn't told her that I'm not going back to school this semester. I doubt he will, but I think she knows anyway. It doesn't matter. Whether I miss some school or not is nothing compared to the dark abyss that is my future.
    I wake up feeling marginally better on Sunday morning; even manage to have a real breakfast and even lunch with mom and dad up in her room. She's smiling today, and there's a flush in her cheeks. It's days like this that make me sure the doctors were wrong, giving me hope that she has more time.
    "So, what are your plans for today?" mom asks me after we finish eating.
    I shrug. "I might do some shopping. I need some new clothes for fall."
    We used to go shopping together. A watery sadness passes over her eyes, and I know she must be thinking the same thing. She smiles bravely, her bottom lip shaking. "Get something nice."
    "Don't spend too much," my dad warns me like he always does.
    "I'll try," I say, my voice too shrill. I bolt from the room, not wanting to cry in front of them. Today is dad's day, and I won't spoil it.
    I call Kate to join me, but her phone goes straight to voicemail, so I'm on my own.  
    The mall is bustling, the back-to-school shoppers joined by all the rest who decided to spend this rainy Sunday shopping. After almost half an hour of circling, I finally manage to get a parking spot on the ground level near one of the entrances. Luckily, it's only drizzling, so I'm not completely soaked before I enter the building.  
    I'm stuffing my car keys into my purse, making sure I have my wallet in this bag, when I bump into someone, hard.
    "Hey..." I start, ready to tell whoever it is off.
    The rest of my sentence gets lost in his, "Pardon..."
    And then I'm looking at his eyes, which are a dark brown in this light, golden really, and kind of like my own. Scott's already walking away, pointing at me like I should back the hell away. Then he turns and disappears in the crowd, and I finally exhale. Great, now he probably thinks I followed him here or something. I let it go. I've already decided to forget all about it, and pretend none of it even happened.  
    I spend the next hour or so browsing, making sure Scott's not anywhere each time I exit one store and enter another. I see nothing I like though, and the things I kind of like, I'd need someone's advice on. Only I'm alone.
    A couple of hours later, I end up at the insanely expensive lingerie store next to the food court. It's not like I have anyone to see me in my underwear, but Scott's rejection still rankles somewhere way in the back of my mind.  
    I pick up a sheer black cami, with white silk thread worked in a braided pattern along the edge of the balconette bra and down the sides, ending in neat little bows. It's the perfect "good girl goes bad" look, and I could get it just for me. I love how whimsically the strands are woven together. My feet are aching, and the fitting rooms are likely packed, so I hold the cami against my chest and check my reflection in the shop window, just to see how it might look. It's my size, and I can always just exchange it later anyway.  
    I nearly drop it when I see him. Scott's eating a sandwich at a table right across from the shop window. He's got his black ball cap pulled low over his eyes, shrouding them in shadow. But his look pierces me anyway. It's like part hunger, part hatred, part desire and it turns my stomach to knots, sending tingles all over.
    "You should totally get that." Brandon's whiny voice breaks the spell. My hand is shaking as I try to hang it back. I miss the hanger, dropping the cami on the ground. Where the fuck did he come from of all people?
    "Shut up, Brandon," I manage, my voice low and unsteady.
    "No, why are you putting it away?" Brandon says and picks up the cami. "I'd totally