Not Yet by Laura Ward Read Free Book Online Page A

to introduce these fuckheads to
Emma. It wasn’t that I was embarrassed of them; it was more that
she was fragile, I guess. Weird, because I also thought of her as
incredibly strong, but I sensed that the tough and bitchy persona
was just a protective façade to keep people distant and I wanted to
keep her tucked away for a while. I needed to make her mine
first.
    “ She’s not buying you shit. I’m not asking her to
do something illegal for you losers. Keep begging your cousin and
leave my girl alone.” I was getting hot and that was very unlike
me. These were my boys and they had never really pissed me off
before.
    “ Your girl? Your girl? You haven’t even kissed
her. My, my boys. Me thinks we’re about to witness a real live
miracle, right here in Zionsville. The mighty Landon Washington has
met his match. He’s got a crush on a girl and needs to win her
over. This, I want to see. Usually they just fall down and their
legs fly open in his presence.”
    The guys continued to pound beers well into the
night. They finally moved on from harassing me to comparing girls
we knew. I passed out, not participating in their banter. All I
could think about was… Emma… my girl.
     
    My girl… had been heated as hell at me. I normally
couldn’t care less if I made someone mad. That feeling of
ambivalence came from years of conditioning myself to accept
constant disappointment from my parents. Bravo, parental units.
    I guessed, at first, that missing our workout meant
more to her than I thought it would. I was stupid as hell for
getting drunk and sleeping late. Those mornings with her were the
best part of my day. I had to go to the gym daily. Coaches orders.
Football first. Dad made sure I knew that rule like it was tattooed
on my forehead. But I’d never forget my surprise seeing her in the
club gym the very first time.
    I had played it cool from the start, knowing she was
totally checking me out. Got a little stiffy from it, in fact, but
I stayed stoic. Once her eyes closed, I knew she was thinking about
sex. Then she screamed and almost fell off the treadmill. Yup.
Thinking about my junk. As she should be. I had to picture my Aunt
Agnes at the beach, in a swim get up that looked more like a circus
big top. That kept me from pitching a complete tent. Aunt Agnes was
my “go to” visual for deflating my lower region. Those visuals had
gotten me out of a number of potentially embarrassing
situations.
    Christ. I turned the wheel sharply, almost
missing the entrance to the lake. Steadying the truck, I headed to
the spot where I always met up with the guys. When I had really
stopped and thought about it, she wasn’t just mad that I skipped
out on our time in the gym. I had let her down. She had counted on
me, finally… and fuck . I hurt her feelings. And that was the
very last thing I ever wanted to do to Emma. Two steps forward and
ten back.
    And then there was Evie. I’d never gotten to know
someone with Down syndrome. I mean, I’d gone to school with a
couple of kids that had it, but I’d never really talked to someone
with Downs until now. Not that I was scared. Just… out of my
comfort zone. And she was funny, and sweet, and kind. I felt more
welcome at that kitchen table than at my own.
    Meeting Evie made me think of those kids at my school
that I’d never given a second thought too. The ones that were
“special.” I wasn’t mean to them, but I made no real effort to get
to know them or help them. Just because you didn’t bully someone,
it didn’t make it okay when you looked the other way. Damn—every
thought in my head was becoming, ‘What would Emma think?’ ‘What
would Emma say?’ It was like she was becoming my moral compass. And
it felt totally right.
     

     
    “She calls me Land.” Dean had finally arrived at the
lake, and we were waiting on Ricky and Jon to get off of work. Emma
was spending her day off with her sister and I was spending mine
obsessing over Emma.
    “You sound like a