Not Yet by Laura Ward Read Free Book Online Page B

pussy, you know that?” Dean
snickered and threw a rock in the lake with a loud plop, missing
completely in his attempt to skip it along the surface.
    I punched him in the arm. “Shut the fuck up.”
    “ Meow . Man, she’s gotten you all worked up.
You kissed her yet?”
    How could I even try to explain kissing Emma? I
wouldn’t. Dean would never get it. The feeling of her soft lips and
warm mouth opening up to me. The way she whimpered. She fucking
whimpered. I did that. I made her make a sound so vulnerable, so
sexy… I’d never wanted a girl like I wanted her. When we separated,
I had to think about old Aggie as quickly as possible. I was out of
control around her. Wanting more from her. Needing to touch her.
Hold her. And…
    Shit .
    Okay… The time Aunt Agnes visited for Thanksgiving
without remembering to pack her mustache bleaching cream or
tweezers… Yup, that worked nicely.
    Dean was right about one thing. This girl had gotten
to me. I was in so much trouble.

    ***

 
     
    I MET TREVOR’S mom while I was working with his
sister on swim stroke development. I watched many families at the
pool during my hours in the guard chair. I could spot a mom whose
child had disabilities a mile away.
    Always standing alone, watching her child
carefully—afraid to look away for even a minute. She usually didn’t
have many friends and she generally kept to herself. She was used
to other kids being scared of her child or making fun of him or
her. She was also tired of the look of sympathy other moms gave her
as they watched her special needs child navigate the world around
him. Oh, yes, I knew Carol before I ever met her son. She was my
people, and I knew we would connect and be comfortable around one
another.
    Trevor never had a swim lesson due to his autism. His
fear of the water and inability to speak kept other instructors
from feeling comfortable enough to work with him. So, when I
offered to help him, Carol was ecstatic—and terrified. With his
skinny physique and short blond hair, Trevor looked like any other
twelve year old boy, but he was different and his challenges were
many. Carol told me he liked the water. He was almost fascinated by
it, really, but he was scared to jump in or submerge his head.
    Trevor’s true passion was music, and he was often
seen around the pool with headphones on, jamming to the latest Katy
Perry song. I guessed the feeling of water in his ears was too much
for him. Probably any loud social commotion was overwhelming too,
and his music was a calming, constant, de-stressor for him.
    My first lesson with Trevor was during my morning
break. We sat on the side of the pool, and I talked to him about
the water and what it felt like to jump in and play around. Landon
was guarding the main pool and watching me work with Trevor.
    After we kicked and splashed a bit, I demonstrated
jumping in feet first. I asked Trevor to join me, and he shook his
head no. I asked if I could splash him and he nodded nervously but
also with sheer willpower to overcome this fear. So, I started out
with small splashes and ended up drenching him. He laughed loudly
and splashed me with his feet. He finally let me pull him into the
water, but he ended up cradled in my arms, scared, as we swayed,
and I spoke quietly in his ear.
    Carol was thrilled with his progression during his
first lesson, and we agreed to meet again the next day.
    A couple of hours later, Landon was off for his lunch
break, and we sat in the guard office eating together. “Tell me
about Trevor,” he said.
    “Have you ever met anyone with autism?” I watched
Landon curiously as he ate his ham and cheese sandwich and showed
genuine interest in my interaction with Trevor.
    “No, but I’ve heard of autism. A boy at my high
school had it and he was pretty much a loner.”
    I filled Landon in on the variety of issues people
can have on the autism spectrum. My sister may have Downs, but once
you are a part of the disability community, you become