Nøtteknekkeren by Felicitas Ivey Read Free Book Online Page A

seemed to have a whole history that I didn’t know about, but learning about each other again would be fun.
    Zubar frowned and walked over to me. He gazed into my eyes. “You are telling the truth.”
    I wanted to lean into the man, to just feel him. It wasn’t sexual—Zubar made me feel safe. Made me feel… normal. I didn’t want this feeling to end, and I wished I could wrap the man around me like a fuzzy afghan. I gave in to the feeling and hugged him, burying my head in his chest. I was tired and there was a dead body a couple of feet from me, and I thought I would either laugh or cry hysterically if I couldn’t hug Zubar.
    “I don’t really remember any of my Christmas Eves before my eighteenth birthday,” I told his chest. “And after that, Rik never wanted us to be here. I… I didn’t know what I was missing.”
    I’d felt odd with other men, feeling like something was missing whenever I was with them. That was one of the reasons those relationships never lasted more than a date or two. The other was that I didn’t “put out,” and “cock tease” was the kindest remark I had heard because of that.
    “But I’ll go with you,” I said.
    Zubar kissed the top of my head. “And you won’t regret it.”
     
     
    Z UBAR ESCORTED me out the door of the conservatory. I stopped short. What had been a snow-covered backyard in the country was now a vast plain. All I could see for miles were snowdrifts—it was like the house had been transported to Siberia. I shivered. I didn’t know if it was from the cold or the shock of what had just happened. And did the house move? Or did something equally impossible happen during that battle, so we weren’t where we had been? How would the servants clean up the body of the Mouse King before Rik woke up? Was Rik even still asleep? Was he in the house, or had the mice gotten him? Did I really care?
    “You’ll be warm soon,” Zubar promised. “The rugs are thick.”
    I looked around, wondering if I was dreaming again. But I felt the cold. I felt the snow drifting down from the sky, some of it hitting me, before falling to the ground and sticking. I felt the bottoms of my socks dampen as the snow melted from my body heat. I was awake, because dreams were never this realistic. But was I sane?
    In front of me was a heavy wooden sleigh. It was white, with accents of gold and silver. There were fur rugs piled high on the seat. I doubted even PETA would bitch about those rugs if they had felt as cold as I did. But I was outside—without a coat, without shoes—because I was an idiot. Or this really was a dream and I was asleep in bed, not even having been able to sneak down the stairs to the Christmas tree this time. But I doubted that. I wondered briefly where Uncle Yvo had flown off to, and I hoped he was safe.
    There were reindeer at the front of the sleigh. One of them snorted, and a couple of them pawed the ground, as if they were impatient with waiting around. These weren’t the eight tiny reindeer famed in song and story. These reindeer were the size of overlarge draft horses, with impressive racks of antlers.
    “You don’t have to come with me, if you don’t want,” Zubar said softly, sounding like he would break down and cry if I didn’t. “I understand this might not be what you want. You’ve had ten years to… explore… your desires.”
    I snorted, touched that he was being so delicate in his reference to sex. “I explored squat, trust me. I knew I liked guys, but aside from some hormonal fumbling when I was a freshman in college, I’ve been more of a stay-at-home kind of guy.”
    I would have had to be an idiot to not see how pleased Zubar was when I said this. There was a weird mixture of possessiveness and satisfaction in his eyes. I opened my mouth and then closed it. It might have been the light, or maybe I was just tired, but Zubar was looking better. More human. Zubar’s hair looked less like silvered wire, and more like coarse curls tamed