Nowhere to Hide by Alex Walters Read Free Book Online

been a pause, as if the consultant was considering the idiocy of her question. ‘Well, the only guidance we’ve got is how quickly it’s progressed over the last year or so. And that’s been very rapid. So, well, if you
forced
me to give you a view, I’d say it’s probable that it’ll continue to progress at a similar rate.’
    â€˜And in terms of his – cognitive abilities? What can we expect there? If I
forced
you to give an opinion.’
    Another pause. ‘Well, the same, I suppose.’
    â€˜And what does that mean? What will it look like?’
    â€˜You need to understand. It’s not like, say, Alzheimer’s. You won’t get the same types of confusion about, you know, who people are or where he is that you’d find in those kinds of dementia. This is more like – oh, I don’t know – more like an old computer, gradually getting slower and slower. It’s the white matter, the connections in the brain, that are being affected. So it’s likely that he’ll get increasingly passive, increasingly unresponsive. If things get more severe, that is.’
    And that was what she’d seen, as the weeks had passed. Today’s outburst had been unusual, a rare demonstration of energy and emotion, however negative. That happened from time to time, as Liam’s frustration at his condition built inside his head to the point where he could no longer contain it. But those sudden explosions were increasingly rare islands in an otherwise endless sea of calm.
    It wasn’t the Liam she’d known. The old Liam had been sparky, enthusiastic, full of ideas. He could be a pain to live with at times, their different personalities rubbing up against each other in a constant friction. But that had been the Liam she’d loved. The Liam who was always looking for a new challenge, a new opportunity. The Liam who continued to pursue his dream of being a successful artist even when, some might think, it had ceased to be realistic. The Liam who would do anything rather than sit slumped in front of some anodyne television programme.
    She returned from the kitchen bearing an opened bottle of red wine and two glasses, a takeaway menu tucked under her arm. Liam already had a local authority carer who came in a couple of times a day to help him get something to eat, check he was okay. Increasingly, though, Marie had the sense that he shouldn’t be left alone for too long. He needed more care, someone to be with him through the day.
    Would that be her? She couldn’t see it. She tried to imagine herself giving up her job, spending the day as Liam’s full-time carer. The image simply wouldn’t form in her head. Apart from the practical questions – what would they actually live on, for example? – that just wasn’t the person she was. Maybe that was selfish – well, of course it was selfish – but she knew that if she tried to devote her life entirely to caring for Liam, she’d probably end up killing both of them.
    It needed thinking about, though. She had to start planning for this. She’d intended to discuss Salter’s proposed assignment with Liam before she gave Salter her answer. But she knew there was no way she could raise it tonight, and, even if she did, no likelihood that Liam would be able to give her a sensible response.
    Another decision postponed, then. But she was beginning to recognise, watching Liam gazing vacantly at the flickering TV screen, that nothing could be delayed forever.

3
    â€˜Get much from the sheep-shaggers?’
    Brennan paused in the doorway, his blank expression suggesting that Salter was speaking some entirely unfamiliar language. Brennan closed the door behind him, paused to hang his jacket carefully on the coat stand, and walked across the room to the conference table where Salter was sitting. He paused for a moment, as if deciding whether or not to sit, and then lowered himself