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Number Theory
They say, and who “they” are is the greatest
mystery of the universe. I often pictured a room full of men, yes,
men, because men make the rules, don’t they? Men decide what we can
do with our bodies and how we should dress and... no, please don’t
get me started on that whole bag of eels. With beards. Bearded
eels. That’s not supposed to be a sexual or anatomical reference.
If I wanted to say penis, I’d say penis. Or dick. Or Johnson . The men in the room I picture, the ‘they’ of legend
and song, are men who sport long, untamed beards. Like Walt
Whitman. Only, Walt wouldn’t be in that room, telling women how to
dress. He’d be telling men how to undress . But I
digress. So, the bag of eels would have beards. Bearded eels.
Men.
Point being, what I started to say is that
they say there is someone for everyone. Someone, some one individual who is for, meant to be, set aside for some other
individual. That’s a nice notion, isn’t it? A warming thought when
things just absolutely stink, and there seems to be little to no
point in… Well, anything . You can at least comfort yourself
with the notion that somewhere, there is someone just for you. Very
comforting medicine. Especially when taken with copious amounts of
wine or whiskey or opiates or... ice
Bathroom Readers' Hysterical Society