Off The Clock: First Responders, Book 1 by Donna Alward Read Free Book Online Page B

preposterous. He shook his head. “If he’d been using, I’d have known. God, we were just teenage boys full of hormones and thinking we were invincible. Brandon might have been more of a risk taker, that’s true, but…” He thought back to the night he’d taken Carly to the prom. He’d wanted to do far more than just kiss her. And he would have if it hadn’t been for knowing Brandon would kick his butt. “I wasn’t exactly lily-white either.”
    And Brandon had been so quiet those last few months. It had worried Gabe that he’d been so withdrawn. Now he realized he’d misread completely. He’d thought Brandon was stressed out over his studies. But he’d been using. God.
    “Then he lied to you. Whatever he said to you must have been because he couldn’t face the truth. He blew it. You saved him. And in doing so you lost your scholarship. You couldn’t afford school after that, could you?”
    Gabe had no words. Everything he’d been so certain of was suddenly turned upside down. All the hurtful, hateful words Brandon had hurled at him. Not just about that night, but about Carly. It was like he’d been able to look into Gabe’s mind and read his thoughts, accusing him of betrayal. Gabe wondered if he should be angry about it. If he should be mad at Brandon. But he wasn’t. In his work he’d seen addicts, and he wondered why he hadn’t recognized the signs before. Maybe because he hadn’t wanted to, not in his best friend. Now all he could feel was concern.
    “Is he clean?” he finally said.
    Everything had changed that night, not just for Brandon, but for Gabe too. And still he couldn’t find it within himself to hate Brandon for it. Gabe had come through it fine. He had a job he loved and a good life. In some ways, the events of that night had made Gabe’s life what it was today. They had led him to this moment, here in Carly’s kitchen, with a mug of cold coffee and a baby boy sleeping down the hall.
    “Yes,” Carly said quietly, “He’s clean. He’s been clean ever since. Nearly dying scared some sense into him, I think. And some shame too. He didn’t hang around long after that. He’s out west working in the oil patch, but you probably knew that.”
    “I’d heard.”
    “What happened with Brandon—it’s why you became a paramedic, isn’t it?”
    He couldn’t deny it. “Seeing him lying on the floor… That was the most frightening thing I’ve ever experienced,” Gabe said quietly, resisting the urge to add until finding you unconscious in that car . “The golden dreams of degrees and football and college—they died that night, even if Brandon didn’t. So yes, it played a big part of it.”
    “And so you punished yourself all this time.”
    Had he? Had he really been punishing himself? “I think it’s more…acceptance, rather than punishment. It was worth it if it meant keeping Brandon alive, you know? Besides, I love my job. It’s not a penance.”
    “But you stayed away from all of us.” Carly pulled out the second stool and perched upon it, her knees only an inch away from Gabe’s. “Why did you do that?”
    He met her gaze. Finding out about Brandon really changed nothing between them. If anything, it made it worse. Did she feel sorry for him now? He clenched his teeth. Poor Gabe who’d been duped all this time. “Because you put me on that pedestal, Carly. You always did. And I don’t deserve to be there.”
    “So you’re flawed. So what? I can’t be grateful to you for saving my life? Because that’s all it is. You were right. This isn’t the prom anymore. This is real life. I’ve got a baby now, one who is depending on me to do everything right. I’m divorced and a single mom and sole breadwinner of my little family and I’m trying to deal with that every day. You’re not the only one who has faults. I’d like to think we’ve both grown up since those days.”
    He hated that she threw his words back at him. How foolish he’d been, how