Officer Elvis by Gary Gusick Read Free Book Online

guess. I used the low-key approach. Out-of-the-way location. Signage shows a picture of Michelangelo’s
David.
Tasteful and all. Understand? What with the gays in military, gay athletes coming out, I figured I’d be okay. The times, they are a-changing. That kind of thing. And of course, everything is up to code.”
    “Tommy knew about the Adonis Club?”
    “From the outset,” said Conway. “And believe it or not, Reylander was fine with it—at least at first. He stopped by before we opened to check the paperwork. That was it. Not even a shakedown. Reylander might have been a jerk but he wasn’t on the take. Then two days after the girlfriend does the audition at Continental Conway’s and I turn her down, the God Squad shows up at the Adonis Club. Reylander and Reverend somebody or another from his church, that place that looks like a shopping mall. Plus he’s got a posse of five or six state legislators, the ones that like to spout the Old Testament. Reylander is at the head of the pack. He isn’t doing his Officer Elvis bit. He’s in street clothes, being plain old Citizen Reylander. It was after midnight. A swarm of do-gooders. They push their way into the Adonis. It’s right out of
Elmer Gentry.
”
    “Elmer Gantry,”
said Darla, correcting him. “It was a book by Sinclair Lewis.”
    “To continue,” said Conway. “They got Jesus posters. They got Bibles. Worse, they got cellphones with cameras. They’re snapping shots, not just of the dancers, either. These guys are taking pictures of the audience.”
    “And there are people in the audience who don’t wish to be identified,” said Darla.
    “Now I got signs up all over the place that say picture taking is a no-no. Only I don’t have the muscle to make the God Squad turn over their cellphones. Which means some very important people are going to have their privacy compromised. So, the situation deteriorates into a couple of rounds of name-calling and threats. The fuck-yous go back and forth, the whole nine yards. But in the end, with a little help from Continental Conway, everybody makes nice.”
    “Meaning what?” asked Darla.
    “We negotiated. For an appropriate fee, the exact amount of which shall remain undisclosed, I agreed to quietly close the doors to the Adonis Club indefinitely. In exchange for this arrangement, Reylander and his God Squad agreed to keep my customers’ confidentiality…highly confidential. Nobody gets embarrassed down at the Capitol—meaning certain legislators get to remain in the closet, and yours truly gets an Easter egg for his sensitivity to the moral outrage of the conservative community. It’s like the Department of Agriculture, where they pay farmers not to plant crops.”
    “Still,” said Darla, “you’re not denying that Tommy did shut you down?”
    “True, the little prick. But I came out okay financially. And it doesn’t hurt that a half-dozen legislative committee heads at the state capitol recognize that I did them a solid favor. Besides, I got other irons in the fire.”
    It was a weird story, but Jackson, Mississippi, was a weird place. More important, Conway, who never had much of a poker face, didn’t sound like he was lying. His story would be easy enough to check out. For the present, it looked like even though Conway might well be the devil’s disciple, he probably wasn’t sufficiently motivated to Fourth of July Tommy and his Caddy.
    Darla turned off the recorder. “That’ll do,” she said. “I’ll expect a call if you come across anything that would be helpful.”
    “You know me,” said Conway, with his characteristic jackass smirk.
    Darla turned and walked back to her Prius, feeling Conway’s beady eyes glued to her backside.

Chapter 6
Mirror, Mirror
    He introduced himself as Bill Daniels, whenever he was forced to introduce himself. His name wasn’t Bill Daniels and he didn’t feel the name suited him. But Bill Daniels was what it said on his driver’s license, his Social