Old Lovers Don't Die by Paul G Anderson Read Free Book Online

certainly bring that to his attention, and I’m sure he’ll get back to you as soon as he can.”
    Christian quickly switched his gaze back to his travelling magazine. However, not quickly enough. Vanessa had noticed his covert appraisal. Christian felt uneasy; it was as though he had been caught doing something that he should not have been doing which brought with it a strange sense of guilt. Why that happened, he was never quite certain. Vanessa was very attractive and it was a natural instinct to admire beauty. Nevertheless, he had never been able to fully transition from ‘it’s rude to stare’, which he had heard as a child, to a guiltless appreciative appraisal. When he had discussed his problem with Sophia at yet another of their pub research sessions, her advice had been unhelpful. Get over it, she had said, everyone stares, just learn to do it with style. She had not elaborated on how he could achieve that which had quietly annoyed him. Instead, she had said in the forthright manner, which was particular to her,
    “Part of your problem is that you think you need to project the confident doctor, accepting all attention as adoration of you and your medical degree. That you do not is more attractive. Stick with the appearance of shyness, but for God’s sake learn to look at a woman when she looks at you—not the floor!”
    As Christian thought about the advice, he realised that he really hated his shyness. Medical school with all its requirements for grand rounds and presentations had eliminated his tendency to shyness on a public level but not on a personal one. He was confident in presenting to other doctors and even talking in public; he had done that many a time in his training and quite enjoyed it. It was just that somewhere deep inside, there remained a part of him that he did not want to or that he could not expose easily. He had been unable to figure out where that came from, a trait he thought he could not have inherited from either parent given their confidence. Although when he thought about it, he didn’t really know that much about his father. Perhaps the beatings his father had endured from his grandfather on the family farm in South Africa were because his father was not confident enough to stand up to him. Another question about his father that he knew may never be answered.
    Deep in that thought, he barely noticed that Vanessa had moved out from behind her desk to come and sit in the other ornately carved seat next to him. As she sat down clutching an information sheet attached to a blue clipboard, she said
    “While you’re waiting, if you could give me some of your details that would speed up the process.”
    Christian moved into recovery mode noting that everything seemed to be colour-coordinated, from the clipboard to the paper. He wondered whether that was also Vanessa’s influence.
    “And don’t forget to put your phone number in there.”
    As she got up from the chair next to him, she left him with the clipboard and a knowing smile which annoyingly caused his shyness to resurface. Despite Sophia’s advice that shyness was attractive, he wished that on occasions such as this he had the ability to overwhelm it.
    Filling out the form, he was conscious in his peripheral vision of Vanessa now glancing over at him. He briefly wondered if there was something funny that he could say that make her laugh - one of Sophia’s more helpful suggestions he remembered.
    “Always remember,” she had said, “making a woman laugh means you have touched her soul, and touching her soul inevitably means that she might trust you with touching other parts.”
    How Sophia had ended up having so much personal wisdom when it came to relationships intrigued him. It was not that she had had many boyfriends. He seemed to recall there had only been three or four, one more serious than the others. Perhaps it was more related to the fact that her mother was a psychiatrist and as a family, she had witnessed lots