On My Knees by Meredith Wild Read Free Book Online

mine, grateful for an excuse to regroup. We had to have some common ground still, but as the seconds passed, the gulf between us created by years of not speaking grew wider.
    We hadn’t stayed in touch. Some breakups have no place to go afterwards. I’d had no interest in watching her life take a turn away from mine, with other people who weren’t me. We cut ties, and I’d let her memory fade as much as it would. I had no idea what her life was like now.
    “How long have you been in New York?” Her smile was tight and polite.
    “About a year. I started a gym in Brooklyn.”
    She lifted her eyebrows. “That’s great. What’s it called?”
    “Bridge Fitness.”
    She nearly choked. “Wow.”
    “What?”
    “That’s a few blocks away from my apartment. I can’t believe we never ran into each other before.”
    “You work out there?”
    She laughed. “No.”
    “Why is that funny?”
    She shrugged and looked out the window. “It’s not. I don’t really have time for stuff like that.”
    “That’s what everyone says. It’s the most popular cop out.”
    “Right.”
    “What about you? You like your work?”
    Her gaze lingered on the busy street outside for a moment before focusing on her food. “It’s okay. Pays well.”
    I could sense the gulf getting bigger. Lecturing her about working out probably wasn’t the way to go. I was totally fucking this up. We hadn’t exactly parted on good terms, and here we were, trying to talk like none of that had happened. Like we were old friends reunited. We were anything but.
    “Listen, I’m sorry for just showing up out of nowhere.”
    “It’s okay. I mean, it’s nice to see you.”
    “I know we never really stayed in touch. I just wanted to see you. It’s been so long.”
    “It has.” She closed her eyes and took a breath, as if her thoughts might be taking her someplace else for a second. “Seems like we’ve both moved on, and you’re doing well, so that’s great.”
    I tensed at the words. “You’re seeing someone?”
    Her eyes widened. “What do you mean?”
    “You said we’ve both moved on. I assume that means you’re with someone.”
    “No, not really.”
    She studied her food again. I released a breath I didn’t realize I’d been holding. Why the hell couldn’t she look me in the eye?
    Her hand trembled slightly as she reached for her glass of water. A faint blush colored her cheeks, her chest rising softly under the soft fabric of her button down that hugged her breasts. I wasn’t blind to the effect I had on women. Since Maya, there’d been others, but somehow I couldn’t remember noticing how their bodies reacted in all the subtle ways that Maya’s was right now. She mesmerized me.
    I tore myself away from studying her and straightened in my seat. “I guess I don’t know where to start here.”
    She was silent for a moment, tracing tiny circles into the tablecloth. “If this is about closure, I get it. Things obviously didn’t end well between us. If you want to talk about it, I understand.”
    Closure? The way she said the word felt like a punch in the gut.
    I laughed quietly. “Closure, huh?”
    She leaned back in her chair, tossing her napkin over her picked-over salad. For all the attention she’d given it, she’d barely eaten. “I don’t know. I could live without rehashing everything.” Her tone was matter-of-fact, cold, as if talking about what happened between us really was the last thing she wanted to do. Ancient history.
    “You don’t ever think about us?”
    She took a deep breath. “Sure. Sometimes.”
    “And it doesn’t bother you, the way things ended?”
    “Does it matter? It ended. That’s what happened. That’s what we decided, one way or the other.” She cleared her throat. “What you decided, anyway.”
    I bristled at the last words. Of course she blamed me for being the one to leave. In the heat of the moment, walking away had seemed like the best thing—the only thing—I could do.
    “I