On My Own by Melody Carlson Read Free Book Online Page A

package my mom sent. (I think Mom's mother's intuition kicked in, and she suspected that I'd been feeling bad.)
    “Yeah, you seemed bummed,” she said as she bit into a homemade chocolate chip cookie. “Not your regular perky self.” Although, the way she said the word “perky,” it sounded like she might've been referring to a bad skin disease.
    “You probably liked that.” I forced a smile, hoping she wouldn't take that wrong.
    “In case you haven't guessed, I'm not really into perky.” She studied me then shook her head. “No offense, Caitlin, but you're the last person I'd have picked to room with.”
    I tried not to be offended as I offered her another cookie. “Why's that?”
    She laughed. But it was that hard, brittle laugh. “Isn't it obvious? We're like the original odd couple, oil mixing with water, Goody Two-Shoes meets Madonna, you know?”
    “But you don't really know me–”
    “Oh, I know you. Don't kid yourself.”
    I set down the cookie tin and focused on her. “Nope, I don't think you really do. Sheesh, I hardly know myself some days. But since you think you know me so well, how about if you tell me just who itis you think I am.”
    She sat down on her bed and studied me, a sly smile playing on her lips. “I don't know, … I'm not sure you can take it.”
    I sat down on my bed across from her, took another cookie, and said, “Try me?”
    “Fine.” She folded her arms and looked evenly at me. “Well, like I told you that first day, I think you're a good little Christian girl who's been going to Sunday school since you were in diapers. I doubt you've ever done anything seriously wrong. Your parents are probably fine church-going people, respected in the community but slightly hypocritical behind closed doors. You were probably a good student in school but not highly academic,maybe you were a cheerleader with lots of popular friends who all walked and talked and dressed alike. Your boyfriend was probably a jock who's moved on to bigger and better things, or so he thinks. You're feeling slightly lost just now, like a small duck in a big pond. As a result, you're probably suffering from some real self esteem issues, and right now, you're probably wishing I'd shut up.” She narrowed her eyes. “Am I right?”
    Part of me wanted to explode and just tell her off, but at the same time, I knew this was the most conversation we'd had in a month. “Okay,” I began slowly, fighting for self-control, “You're about half right–or maybe less.” I thought for a moment. “I am a Christian, but it was less than two years ago when I made that commitment. I've never been a cheerleader, and I'm actually fairly academic. I've never been really popular, although one of my friends was, but then she decided that popularity was highly overrated. And my best friend–” I stopped and laughed as I thought about good, old Beanie. “It's ironic, but my best friend is actually a little like you–or she used to be anyway. My parents used to think she was a real wild child because she dressed pretty weird and liked to shock people. She had a pretty sad home situation and then she got pregnant and–” I stopped myself. “You probably don't really want to hear all of this.”
    Liz was staring at me now, like maybe she thought I was making all this stuff up or something. Then she shrugged. “Well, I guess it just goes to show that you can'tjudge people based on appearances alone.”
    I smiled. “But it's easy to do, isn't it?”
    “So then, who do you think I am?”
    I felt slightly off guard now. Certainly I had my opinions about Liz, but I wasn't really ready to voice them to her. Above all else, I didn't want to hurt her feelings.
    “Come on,” she urged, “I told you.”
    “Okay.” I peered closely at her smooth, even features, still slightly amazed at how she usually managed to keep her face somewhat emotionless. I suspect she'd be good in a poker game. Then suddenly I wondered what it was that