Open Arms by Marysol James Read Free Book Online Page A

raised.”
    “So when did you come out here?”
    “After I got out of jail.”
    Tammy froze. “What?”
    “I was in jail for a while, and when I got out, I had to work with horses as part of my community service. I fell in love with them, and with my parole officer’s permission, I applied for jobs here in Colorado. David Reid, Julie’s father, gave me a chance when nobody else would, and so I moved out here, got a new P.O. locally. He still keeps an eye on me, makes sure I’m clean and sober and behaving myself. I’ve been out this way for going on seven years now.”
    Tammy stared at him. “What – what did you do? To go to jail?”
    Phil shook his head. “This last time? Drugs. But before that – you name it, I was involved in it. Burglary and bar fights and gang stuff.” He held out his arm again. “This tattoo was given to me when I was seventeen, when I took over leadership of the neighborhood gang in Detroit.”
    “You what?” Her eyes were wide with fear.
    Phil sighed. “I was a really bad person, Tammy. I have a million reasons why, a million excuses for what I did. No father and a druggie mother and lots of physical abuse by her pimps and boyfriends and customers. Nobody interested in me at all, so I ran wild in the streets. But it’s all bullshit, you know. Look at Julie – look where she started and where she ended up, and the truth is… what I did was my choice. Everything I did was because I wanted to do it.”
    Tammy swallowed hard.
    “I hurt people, Tammy. I beat them up and I stole their money. I hurt other kids and took their drugs and sold them. I know all about hurting people.” His eyes were soft when he looked at her. “I left people looking the way that you were left in that alley, and I did it more than once.”
    “Why are you telling me this?”
    “Because you blame yourself for what happened to you. Don’t you?”
    She was silent and he waited.
    “Don’t you?”
    She closed her eyes against the tears. “Yes.”
    “Well, don’t. Just don’t. I know what kind of man did this to you – I know what he’s all about. I know that he goes around looking for victims. I did it myself for almost thirty years. I decided to live that way, you see. And so does he.”
    Tears rolled down her cheeks now.
    “You did nothing wrong, nothing at all. You crossed his path. That’s all it took. That’s all it takes, with men like this. I promise you: you did nothing to deserve this, or provoke it. Nothing .”
    A sob shook her. “Really?”
    “Really.” He hesitated then reached out to touch her hand. When she didn’t pull away, he took her hand in his, and she let him. “I have no excuses for what I did Tammy, and all I can say is that I did my time. I deserved every minute that I spent in jail. I thank God every day for Dave Reid, for giving me a second chance. I have built a whole new life out here, and I work damn hard to deserve that chance and this life. But I can’t forget what I was… that man is still in here somewhere. He always will be, I think. And when I meet another man like him, I recognize it right away. It’s like looking in a mirror, you see. I know who hurt you. It was a man like me, like the way I used to be.”
    “Would you be sorry, after? After you’d hurt someone?”
    “No.”
    “So, this guy who beat me up… he’s not sorry for what he did?”
    “I doubt it,” Phil said gently. “Maybe he will be one day.”
    “Are you sorry now, for all the things you did?”
    “Yes. Now I am.”
    “Does everyone here know about you? About being in jail?”
    “Yes. I’ve never been secretive about any of my past.”
    “So – they trust you.”
    “Yes.”
    She nodded.
    His chest felt tight as he asked the next question: “Are you scared of me now?”
    She was startled. “No. No, not at all. You’ve decided to be different, right? You’ve made this choice, and you keep making it every day.”
    “I do.”
    “Then that’s more than enough for me.”