The Ranch by Danielle Steel Read Free Book Online

there before, in various ways, with different people. She told herself she was ready for it, but in her heart of hearts, she knew she wasn't. You never were, you always hoped that this time it would be different, that he would be strong enough, that he would really care, that it would be worth it to him to stick by her and help her. It was all she'd ever wanted, maybe even more than children, just a solid, real relationship with a man who would stick around when the shit hit the fan, because it would. She had told Tony that at the beginning. And he'd been good about it, for nearly three years now, but lately he was getting testy. Too much so. “Are you telling me I'm too good for you, that I deserve better than you have to give? One of those noble little speeches that makes me feel that I'm rising to greatness while you run out the door?” She looked him in the eye, and spoke clearly. There was no point hiding from what was coming. And she knew it was now.
    “That's a lousy thing to say. I've never run out on you.” He looked hurt and she felt sorry. Maybe she was premature in her accusations.
    “No, but you're thinking about it, aren't you?” Tanya asked softly.
    He sat looking at her for a long, time, neither confirming nor denying what she had asked him. “I don't even know what I'm saying to you. I'm just telling you I'm getting tired. This is a hard life you live, harder than anyone ever knows until they get here.”
    “I warned you of that,” she said, feeling like a climber on Everest halfway through the climb, as her companions began to fail her. “I told you what it was like. It's a tough life here, Tony. There are wonderful things about it, and I love my work, but I hate what all the other stuff does to me… and to you… and to us… and the kids… I know how hard it is. But the bitch of it is, I can't do anything to stop it, and you know that.”
    “I know, I know… and I have no right to complain.” He looked at her with eyes filled with embarrassment and agony, but she knew as she looked at him that, for Tony, it was over. You could just see it. He'd had his fling with Hollywood, and for him, the romance had faded. “I know how hard it is on you, and I don't mean to make it any worse. I know how hard you work, and what a perfectionist you are… but that's part of it too. There's no time in your life for me anywhere, all it is is concerts and rehearsals and recordings. You're doing great things, Tan, and meanwhile I'm sitting here reading about us in the tabloids.”
    “And believing it?” she asked him bluntly. Maybe that was it. Maybe he thought it was true. The bodyguard who was suing her had been a real son of a bitch, but he was very attractive.
    “No, I'm not believing it,” he sighed, “but I'm not enjoying it either. The guys I played golf with this morning made a big deal about it. Actually, some of them thought it was pretty funny, to have a wife who gets sued for sexual harassment, most of them claim their wives never want to sleep with them.” He looked embarrassed by what he was saying, but Tanya got the deeper meaning. His friends had been harassing him, and Tony was tired of being humiliated. It was a reasonable complaint, but she was tired of it too. The problem was that he could get a ticket to freedom anytime, and she couldn't. The tabloids, and the potential “suers,” were gunning for her, not her husband. “I don't know what I'm saying to you,” Tony said unhappily, “it's not much fun like this, is it?”
    “No, it's not,” she said sadly, too decimated by the look in his eyes to even argue with him about it. Somehow, the bad guys always won in the end. The tabloids and the lawsuits and the threats and the pressure of all of it proved to be too much for any relationship with any normal human being. “Are you telling me you want out?” she asked miserably. He was not the love of her life, but she was comfortable with him, she trusted him, she loved him and his