Ordeal by Linda Lovelace Read Free Book Online

control. She would’ve been coming up with the weird ideas, the positions. The way you were, they hadda do all the fucking work.”
    No words. I went over exactly what had happened. The man I was living with had pulled a gun on me, had forced me to undress, had thrown me into a room with five strange males, had watched them rape me over and over, and now he was angry because I hadn’t been exciting enough for them. Good God!
    “Those guys’ll never come back to me again,” Chuck was saying. “Not after today. We can write them off. You know what I was trying to do today? I was trying to get a business started. Our business. That’s all. Just trying to get a business started. You know how you fucking get a business started? You show five guys a good time, that’s what you do. Then each of them goes out and tells two more people. Then you got ten, fifteen, guys. And they talk it up and then you got a little business going there. You know what these guys are going to tell their friends after today? Nothing, that’s what. You’re ruining my fucking business.”
    Still I said nothing.
    “You’re supposed to be freaky!” he said. “You’re supposed to enjoy it. You’re not supposed to be laying there like some kind of dead log. Shape up, cunt, I’m warning you. Next time better be different. Next time better be better.”
    Next time? Oh, God, what next time?

five
    I didn’t have to wait long for the next time. The following day, Chuck introduced me to a visitor, an old friend who managed a truck-rental business, and my name became Tracy at this point.
    “This is Harry,” Chuck said. “I told Harry that you’d make him happy, that you’d do anything he wants to do. So I’m going to split for a while and leave you two kids alone.”
    Chuck walked out of the living room and an instant later I heard the front door slam. I was alone with my first paying customer, my first trick. Harry thumbed through his wallet and fished out two twenty-dollar bills.
    “Chuck said it was forty,” Harry said. “Is forty all right with you.”
    “I guess so.”
    “Your name is Tracy, right?” I nodded. “Yeah, well, I was sure glad to hear that Chuck was back in the business. Just like old times.”
    If I was seeing Harry under any other circumstances, he would’ve seemed nice enough. He was soft-spoken and that has always been an important quality with me. But at this moment he was not even on my mind that much; I was hardly thinking about him. I could think of only one thing— Chuck had finally left me alone. Well, not entirely alone. There was one matter to take care of first.
    I took off my jeans and blouse and laid them over a chair. Was I supposed to take off the rest or was he? I had no idea. I went over to the bed and sat down on the edge of it and waited for him to come over and do whatever he was going to do to me.
    “Tracy, would you mind a little friendly advice,” Harry said to me. “Chuck tells me you’re just starting out so you probably don’t know what you’re supposed to do yet. But the thing is, you should at least be friendly. In fact, you should fake like you really want it.”
    “Please don’t talk,” I said. “Just do what you want to.”
    “Suit yourself.”
    The way he said that, I knew that my attitude wasn’t right and that would undoubtedly get back to Chuck. I was scared and I was dry but Harry went right into me. It hurt at first and it didn’t get better. The expression on his face told me that he wasn’t enjoying it much more than I was. But he went on anyway, pumping away. I lay there lifeless, letting him do all the work. Before too much longer, I would learn to fake it, even to be aggressive, just like the other hookers, but right then I just wanted him to finish and get off me. The moment he was done, I rolled out from under him and went to get my clothes.
    “What’s this, a race?”
    He seemed to find everything I did very funny. But finally he stopped laughing, got up,