the cool linen tablecloth. It took all her strength not to shout, ‘Who cares?’ This pretending stuff was becoming extremely stressful and exhausting and she felt, for the first time in forever, a long suppressed urge to bite her nails. She would have to tell them. She knew she did. Soon. But not tonight.
Instead she found a traitorous smile. ‘He’s got a big case next week and he’s still at work. I didn’t want to miss out on the engagement party so I came with Grace.’
Her mother straightened her back and looked at her oldest daughter as if she’d gone mad. ‘Work? What do you mean work? On a Saturday night when he’s been invited to a party with his wife?’
Anna shrugged as if to say, oh well , and turned her attention to her grandmother. ‘ Come stai, Nonna ?’ Anna saw the knowing look Nonna shot at the empty chair. She knew her grandmother was already putting two and two together and coming up with eighty-five.
‘Hey Dad. Nice tie.’
‘This old thing?’ He winked at her.
The tie was truly garish and disgusting. A mishmash of red and purple flowers, he took great delight in trotting it out for formal functions. It was his standing joke and as if in protest it appeared whenever he had to wear a suit. One tie. One suit. Such simply economy for a man who would rather be out in his garden tending his tomatoes. His wife, on the other hand, liked these gatherings. It was a chance to see her friends, many of whom had links back to her family since they’d arrived on boats together in the 1950s. Families with connections that now spanned generations, inextricably linked by shared experiences, common language, culture and history.
‘And don’t you look beautiful tonight,’ Paolo said with a wink. Anna glanced down at her simple shift. She liked its ordered yellow, black and white shapes and geometric design.
‘This old thing?’ She winked back at her father.
After the speeches were finished – honestly, how many times did it need to be mentioned that the bride-to-be wasn’t Italian? – Anna straightened her back to relieve the ache that had settled in between her shoulders. The whole evening had been more excruciating than having a Pap smear. Unlike a Pap smear, however, it wasn’t over in a couple of discreet minutes after a grimace and a scratchy plastic probe. This one seemed to have dragged on for an eternity. She’d had to endure the stark reminder of the empty chair all night, which felt so obvious she should have tied a pole to it with a flapping flag at the top. Like a pensioner’s gopher, people all around would be aware of its presence.
‘Where’s Alex?’ Her Aunt Rosa.
‘Where’s that husband of yours?’ Her parents’ next-door neighbour, Bianca.
‘So where is he?’ Her brother, Luca. He was staring at her with an odd expression.
‘What, do I have to put this on the news? He’s working on a big case.’ She went for deflection to turn the overbearing attention away from her own life. ‘And what about you? Where have you been all night? Too good to sit here with your family?’
Luca leaned down to kiss his sister on the cheek. ‘At the bar. There’s no way I’m sitting with you guys when there are single women over there.’ He flashed Anna a full-wattage smile and it took all the wind out of Anna’s sails. She slapped him on the arm with a smile.
‘All good with you?’ Luca asked.
‘Yeah,’ she lied. ‘You?’
‘Busy. I’ll see you Wednesday at Mum and Dad’s.’ Luca ruffled her hair with a strong hand and then swaggered over to the younger crowd who’d congregated by the bar. He fitted right in. They all looked like supermodels and players for AC Milan. Anna suddenly felt old. That had been her place once, a zillion years ago. Where was her place now as a thirty-five year old singleton? She could hardly lurk around the bar with the twenty-somethings. God , she sighed, that would simply look creepy . No, she felt firmly in the middle-aged and