Overload by Arthur Hailey Read Free Book Online Page B

it
    didn't stop my wanting."
    "Ardythe," Nim said, "please . . ."
    "No, I'm almost finished. Today . . . tonight . when I realized I'd lost
    everything, I wanted sex more than ever. Suddenly all that missing seven
    years swept over me. And you were here, Nim. I've always liked
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you, maybe a little more than 'liked,' and you were here when I needed you
    most." She smiled. "If you came to comfort me, you did. it's that simple.
    Don't make it more complicated, or feel guilt where there should be none."
    He sighed. "If you say so, I won't." It seemed an easy way to put con-
    science to rest. Perhaps too easy.
    "I say so. Now kiss me once more, and go home to Ruth."
    He did as she said, and was relieved to be leaving before Wally and Mary
    arrived.
    In the car, driving home, Nim pondered the complexities of his personal
    life. By comparison, the intricate conundrums of Golden State Power &
    Light seemed simple and preferable. At the top of his own immediate
    problem list were Ruth, their drifting-in-circles marriage, and now
    Ardythe. Then there were other women he had bad affairs with from time
    to time, including a couple of recent ones still simmering. Those kinds
    of involvements seemed to happen to Nim without his seeking them. Or was
    he deluding himself there? Did he, in fact, search out entanglements,
    rationalizing later that they simply happened? Either way, for almost as
    long as he could remember, there had been no lack of sexual
    opportunities.
    After his marriage to Ruth fifteen years ago, he had resolutely stayed
    a onc-woman man-for about four years. Then an opportunity for ex-
    tracurricular sex occurred, and he hadn't fought it. Afterward there had
    been still more opportunities-some the usual one-night stands, others
    that lasted enthusiastically for a while, then faded like bright stars
    dimming before extinction. At first Nim assumed he could keep his sexual
    philandering a secret from Rutb-the nature of his work with its heavy
    demands of time, plus irregular hours, helped make that possible. Prob-
    ably it even worked for a while. Then common sense told him that Ruth,
    who was not only sensitive but shrewd, must realize what was happening.
    The extraordinary thing was that she never protested, simply seeming to
    accept. Illogically, Ruth's reaction-or, rather, the lack of it-galled
    him and still did. She should have minded, ought to have protested,
    perhaps shed angry tears. True, none of it might have made any
    difference, but Nim had asked himself: Wasn't his defection at least
    worth that much?
    Something else Nim weighed from time to time was that news about his
    womanizing seemed to become known no matter bow discreet he tried to be.
    There bad been several examples of such leakages, the latest this
    afternoon. What was it Teresa Van Buren had said? "You've got a few
    things to learn about women, Nim-other than calisthenics in bed, and from
    rumors I hear, you're getting plenty of that." Obviously
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Teresa bad more than rumors to go on or she would not have spoken so
    bluntly. And if Teresa knew, so did others in GSP & L.
    Was Nim imperiling his own career? If so, was it worth it? Why did be do
    it, anyway? And was it for real or just a game?
    "I'll be damned if I know," Nim said aloud in the small closed car, and
    the remark seemed applicable to what he had been thinking about and a
    good deal more.
    His own house, near the outskirts of the city, was silent when be ar-
    rived, with only a dim night-light in the downstairs hallway left burn-
    ing. At Nim's urging, the Goldmans were a conservation-conscious family.
    Upstairs be tiptoed into Leah's and Benly's rooms. Both youngsters were
    sleeping soundly.
    Ruth stirred as he came into their bedroom, and inquired sleepily, "What
    time is it?"
    He answered softly, "A little past midnight."
    "How's Ardytbe?"
    "I'll tell you in the morning."
    The answer seemed satisfactory and Ruth returned to sleep.
    Nim showered quickly, remembering that be