Paperboy by Vince Vawter Read Free Book Online Page B

s-s-s-s-time … and why did you s-s-s-s-talk to me s-s-s-s-bout it?
    The sentence was double the length I usually tried to get out but the words came easier on the swing. Mr. Spiro studied my question.
    It occurred to me during what I assumed was a vocal block that you probably had encountered people who would not take the time to understand your situation. They would pretend to ignoreit and that only leads to more confusion … for the speaker and the listener.
    I liked the way Mr. Spiro didn’t beat around the bush. Answering the question without any extra words and talking to me like I was a grown-up. He could have just said Lucky Guess but Mr. Spiro seemed like a guy who respected a kid enough not to lie or give a short answer.
    I wanted to make certain you knew that your verbal blocks were of no bother to me. I’m interested more in content rather than how well one might vocalize it.
    Most grown-ups and especially my relatives and friends of my parents treated me about as well as could be expected without them knowing exactly what I was going through when I tried to talk. Some people tried to finish sentences for me and mostly would get them wrong. Some people just smiled a fake smile and waited on me to get my words out while they were looking around the room. Some got confused and just wandered off as quickly as they could.
    I knew that people didn’t mean anything by it. If the way I talked was confusing for me it was bound to be confusing listening to me. But not one time had a grown-up except for Mam and my speech teacher talked to me about my stuttering. It’s like I walked into a room with an organ-grinder’s monkey sitting on my head and everyone pretending the monkey wasn’t there. I barely knew Mr. Spiro but we were on his front porch having a talk about my stuttering.
    I assume you are in the hands of a capable speech pathologist?
    I nodded.
    Do you think it’s helping? Are you doing all that this person asks of you?
    s-s-s-s-Most of the s-s-s-s-time.
    From what I can understand, modern speech therapy is based on the Aristotelian logic that nonfluent speech is a product of improperly learned motor skills and has nothing to do with Freudian bugaboos.
    Usually I could make out the meaning of what somebody said even if I didn’t understand all the words but Mr. Spiro could tell he had lost me.
    Putting it simply. Listen to your speech teacher. Practice what is taught and you will find your voice. It may not be the voice of your choosing but you will do well by it.
    That was the first time anybody had ever told me that I had a fighting chance. Even my teacher. The day I first met her I asked how long it would take for her to teach me to talk like a regular kid and she said just to do my exercises and not worry about the future. How could I not worry about my future if I was going to be stuttering all the time in it?
    I wanted to hear more from Mr. Spiro. His answers made me feel better no matter what my question was.
    Why s-s-s-s-can most kids talk without any s-s-s-s-trouble and not s-s-s-s-me?
    It was a simple question I had wanted to ask someone for as long as I could remember. Someone who would tell me the truth. I did askMam one time but she said it was just God’s plan. That didn’t make any sense to me because a god who would play dirty tricks on a kid like that didn’t know very much about being a god.
    Mr. Spiro changed his smile. He had different smiles for different parts of a conversation.
    I will play Socrates and ask you a question. Why can’t everyone in the sixth grade throw a ball as hard and as straight as you can?
    s-s-s-s-Because …
    I didn’t have a good answer. I didn’t have any answer. He kept looking at me and waiting like I was going to have to come up with something before he would let me ask another question.
    s-s-s-s-Because … they’re not me.
    Exactly, Messenger. So it follows that you are not them. Correct?
    I nodded.
    Your questions are filling our sails. We