Pencil of Doom! by Andy Griffiths Read Free Book Online

larger. Raise your arms and open your jacket if you are wearing one.
9.
If the lion behaves aggressively, throw books or pencil cases without crouching down or turning your back. Wave your arms slowly and speak firmly. Your goal is to convince the lion that you are not prey and that you may be a danger to it.
10.
Fight back if a lion attacks you. Lions have been driven away by prey that fights back. People have fought back successfully with rocks, sticks, jackets, garden tools and their bare hands. Remain standing or try to get back up if you fall.

31
My dream

    That night I dreamed that I was running down an endless school corridor, being chased by a lion.
    But it wasn’t a normal lion—it was a pencil lion. Its mane wasn’t made of hair, it was made of pencils. Its claws were not normal claws, but ultra-sharpened pencil lead.
    I ran and ran, but no matter how fast I pushed myself the lion was always right on my heels. I could smell its breath. It smelled like pencil shavings.
    As I ran, I saw frightened students watching me from the safety of their classrooms. But all the doors were locked. There was nowhere for me to hide.
    Finally, as I began to tire, the lion pounced.
    I turned around and looked up as the terrifying beast, every pencil on its mane trembling, opened its enormous jaws to reveal not a mouth full ofteeth, but rows and rows of sharpened pencils, going as far back down its throat as I could see.
    I woke, dripping with perspiration.
    That was one bad lion.
    And one even badder pencil.

32
Waking up

    I awoke on the floor of my bedroom. There were pencil shavings all around me, but whether they had already been there before I went to bed or whether they were from the pencil lion I couldn’t be sure. All I knew was that the pencil was bad news.
    Mr Brainfright had almost choked to death and had fallen out the window.
    Fred and Clive were in hospital.
    Jack was lucky he wasn’t in jail.
    Gretel had broken her wrist, I’d almost lost my head and now Jenny had been cut in half and almost eaten by a lion. (Well, Jenny being cut in half wasn’t technically the pencil’s fault, but everything else sure was.)
    What—or who—would be next?
    I had to get rid of the pencil before anyone else was hurt. The problem was that I didn’t have it. Itwas in my pencil case on my desk at school—and knowing how attached to the pencil Jack was, I didn’t think he’d take kindly to my plans to destroy it.
    That meant I had to get to school and get rid of the pencil before Jack arrived.
    I looked at the clock. It was 7.30 am. If I hurried I could make it.
    I got up off the floor, kicked the pencil shavings under the bed, and ran out the door.

33
Rewind

    I returned to my room moments later, realising that I still had my pyjamas on.
    I took my pyjamas off.
    I put my school uniform on.
    I had some breakfast.
    I brushed my teeth.
    And then I ran out the door and straight to school.

34
Escaped pencil

    There were only a few students in the yard when I arrived at school.
    I walked up the steps, down the corridor and into the 5B classroom.
    It was still a bit messy after yesterday’s lion attack. We hadn’t had a chance to put the room back in order because Mr Brainfright had given us all the rest of the day off school (after he’d put Jenny back together again, of course).
    My pencil case was sitting on top of the desk. I opened it carefully, but the pencil wasn’t inside.
    Then, on a hunch, I went over to Jack’s desk.
    I lifted the lid and, looking around to check that I was still alone, picked up Jack’s pencil case. I closed the desk lid carefully and tugged at the zipper of the pencil case.
    It didn’t open.
    I tugged again.
    It still didn’t open.
    I tugged even harder.
    This time it did open—spilling its content all over the floor with a loud clatter.
    I looked up, hoping that Jack wasn’t standing in the doorway. He wasn’t. I