with pleasure, he knew it too. Such a small thing, and yet everything.
For the first time, it really hit Nix that sex and intimacy were two completely different things. Holding hands, showing Noah he cared, was more intimate than a base sexual act.
He made a mental note to get better at the small things. Noah deserved happiness.
On the end of that thought, he realized he knew little of Noah’s background. “What about you?” he asked as they headed into the forest and down the trail. “What were your growing-up years like?”
“A little lonely,” he answered wistfully, sadness flitting across his face. “Pretty stereotypical for a gay kid in a small, conservative town. My parents weren’t like your dad, at least not to that extreme. They didn’t push me to do sports or anything; they were fine with my being the brainiac nerd type, winning blue ribbons for my science fair projects—as long as I ended up being a doctor, married to an equally successful woman, and producing several little Noahs to carry on the family name.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah. Imagine their surprise when their future doctor decided to be a nurse, and they came home early one day to findhim doing his best to get Jay Thompson pregnant?”
Nix couldn’t help it—he laughed out loud. “Oh, shit!”
His mate snorted. “Right? The image kind of bleaches your brain, doesn’t it? Anyway, my parents were the type whose love was conditional.
I’ll love you if only you live your life exactly as I envision it, and follow my dreams.
When they found me with Jay, I was just starting nursing school. That was the final blow, and they threw me out and disowned me. I haven’t seen them since. Don’t know if they’re alive, don’t care.”
Something in his tone said he did care but didn’t want to. Nix didn’t push. Instead, he asked, “How did you manage?”
“I went to live with Jay’s family, finished school. He and I never went beyond friends with benefits, but he and his folks got me through a rough time. I’m grateful to them for that, though I didn’t keep in touch with any of them.”
Nix was selfishly glad his mate wasn’t still talking to his old fuck buddy. His wolf might have to rip out the man’s throat. “Then you ended up here?”
“Not quite. I got a job working at a big hospital in Atlanta. That’s actually where I met Melina.”
“You’re kidding?” They’d started walking again, still holding hands, and Nix shot him a look of surprise. “I had no idea you two knew each other before.”
“Yeah. She was really supportive when I took some shit at work for being gay. Then she left to come here, and things got really bad. I had her cell phone number and she told me to call if I ever needed her, but I was determined to stick things out in Atlanta.”
“Were these coworkers who were hassling you?” Nix scowled. “Sorry to stereotype, but you couldn’t have been the first gay male nurse they’d worked with!”
“You’d think, wouldn’t you? I mean, I’ve never hidden who I am. Not since my folks tossed me out like garbage. Since that day, I swore I’d never be anyone but myself, and fuck anybody who wanted me to be different.”
Except me,
Nix thought with shame.
Just the other day, he offered to change, for me
.
“Don’t ever change,” he reiterated. “Not for me, or anybody. Be yourself.”
Noah’s smile was like a ray of sunlight. “I will.”
“So, how exactly did you end up here, at the compound?”
“Things in Atlanta came to a head when two guys were waiting for me late one night when I got off work. They assaulted me beside my car, beat me up, and left me there.”
“What?” Nix’s fangs dropped and his claws sprouted from his fingertips. “I’ll fucking kill both of them.”
“No, sweetie,” he placated, squeezing Nix’s hand. “They went to jail. They forgot that the staff parking garage has security cameras, and there just wasn’t any defense against what they did when it
Learning to Kill: Stories