many ways, they were victims too, especially Evelyn. At least she would be out in fifteen years if she didn’t do anything stupid. That wasn’t too much of her life to lose.
Naomi’s iPod switched to a song that made her take her foot off the gas. It was the same song she and Finn had danced to at the club. Its pounding bass thumped through the car and the muscles in her body ached, as if they wanted her to stop the car and get out so she could move like she had on the dance floor.
No.
No more Finn.
It was all Jesse now. The kiss had been a mistake, and she would tell Jesse she was sorry.
She glanced at her camera equipment in the backseat, her resolve breaking. She had no intention of stopping to take pictures. She was on autopilot, heading straight for Berkeley.
T WO HOURS later, she was rubbing the tops of her aching thighs with one hand. She wasn’t used to sitting in a car for so long, even with the cruise control engaged. She was in Berkeley now, and after stopping to fill up the car, she drove to James’s apartment. It was a clean, quiet street. James’s building was yellow.
Naomi imagined what it might be like to see Jesse again. Frightening. Surreal. From what she understood, it wasn’t illegal for her to seek him out, but she still wanted to be careful. Maybe she was wrong. Getting him in trouble wasn’t her intention. She only wanted to see him, even if it was from afar. Her mother had hinted he would have a job, so if she waited long enough, she might see him coming or going. Then she would ... well, she wasn’t sure.
Parking the Mercedes across the street, she undid her seatbelt and stared at the third-floor apartment where James lived. What now? She tapped her fingers against the steering wheel as her stomach started to growl. She hadn’t eaten lunch, and now it was five o’clock. If she had been thinking clearly, she would have stopped for something to eat earlier, or at least brought something to snack on. When it came to Jesse, she didn’t think clearly.
Maybe there was something in the glove box. She leaned over and popped it open. There were insurance papers, a pen, some napkins, and a box of Good & Plenty. That was surprising. She had no idea who liked them—her father or her mother, since they both used this car. She tore open the box and dumped some of the candies into her mouth, her mind stuck on the fact that she had no idea what kind of candy her parents liked. One of them liked licorice, apparently. Or maybe neither of them did since the candy hadn’t been opened. It was stale now, but it still tasted good. She chewed it, letting the gritty sugar coat her mouth as she watched James’s apartment like she was some sort of stalker. For a moment, she considered leaving, but as soon as she saw Jesse, it all faded away.
She almost didn’t recognize him behind the wheel of his father’s green pickup truck. His hair was longer than she remembered. For a moment, her head spun. She dropped the box in her hands and it fell to the floor, spilling the pink and white candies everywhere. He was parking almost directly across the street from her now. As stupid as it was, she hadn’t planned this far. Now he was getting out of the truck.
She had long since rolled up her window and turned on the air conditioning, so it wasn’t as if she could yell to him. Instead, she opened her door as fast as she could and tripped over her feet as she stumbled out onto the road. She shut the door and the sound made Jesse stop and look up. His mouth dropped open.
“Naomi?”
“I heard you were on parole.” She brushed a sweaty hand across her forehead. “I ... I—”
“I’m not allowed to see you,” he interrupted, taking a step back. His hand lingered on the open truck door. “I’ll be sent back to prison if I attempt to contact you or see you. I’m not even sure I can see you after my parole is over. It might be a long time.” He looked at the ground. “I have a hearing next week.