room, three more times she’s regained consciousness, each time, her eyes find mine, she asks me if she’s dreaming, and falls back to sleep. It splits my heart open every time.
I just want her to open her beautiful green eyes and know without question that I’m here. I want her to know she’s safe, and that I will do everything I can to make sure this never happens again.
Pyper is here, as well as Olivia’s parents. She’s not yet been able to be aware of their presence or even take in the room. She seems unaware of anyone, except me, and that is just fine. Olivia continues to ask me if she’s dreaming each time she wakes, and it has made them emotional as well. All of us are wondering the same thing… what happened to her during her kidnapping?
I know I should probably move from my vigil at her bedside and let Pyper and Olivia’s parents be closer to her, but I can’t find it within myself to move. They haven’t asked, so I think they understand. And so, we all just sit here, watching her sleep, thanking God she’s alive, and waiting for her to open her eyes again.
“Luke, we are going to go to the cafeteria and get some coffee and something to eat. Can we bring you something?” Joy, Olivia’s mom, asks.
“I don’t know if I can eat anything right now. Maybe just some coffee, please.”
She gets a scolding look on her face that I remember well. It may have been years since I’ve seen Joy and Nelson, but I still remember that look from the days Olivia would get home late and her parents didn’t approve. “You need to eat something. You won’t be good to anyone if you’re tired and hungry. It will only run you down.”
Pyper is smirking at me, likely because Joy just stated exactly what she was thinking. It’s written all over her face. “Okay, you’re right. Maybe just a muffin or something would be fine.”
“I’m going to go with them. Will you let us know if she wakes up? I have my cell phone.” Pyper asks.
“Of course.”
They head out of the room and I resume rubbing circles into Olivia’s soft hands.
Fifteen minutes or so have passed since they all left the room, when I notice Olivia’s eyes flutter. I squeeze her hand automatically in response, and am overjoyed when her hand squeezes mine in return.
“Olivia?”
Her eyes open, and she stares at the ceiling above her. For a moment, her face is peaceful, and then I can tell the instant clarity arrives, because her face registers panic before she realizes where she is. Her body jerks, and for a minute, she looks like she’s trying to sit up, but then she whimpers in what I assume is pain.
Immediately, I tighten my grip on her hand and stand next to her running my hand down the side of her face, trying to soothe away the hurt. Her eyes focus on me. “Hi, angel.”
“Luke?”
“I’m here. You’re safe now. It’s okay. Do you know where you are? Do you remember being brought in here?”
She doesn’t respond, she just stares into my eyes, and I’m bracing myself for when she assumes I’m a dream once again. Then, without warning, she clutches my shirt with her right arm and pulls me to her. She tries to wrap her damaged arm behind my neck to pull herself up. “Luke! Oh my God, Luke!”
I place my arms around her the best I can, given the contraptions and restrictions her body has right now. “I’m here. I’m here. Please don’t hurt yourself. You need to take it easy right now.”
I hold her against my chest carefully, and run my fingers through her hair. “I love you so much, Livvie. So, so much.” I can’t quit telling her, reminding her. I thought I’d never get the chance to again – I don’t know if I’ll be able to any time soon.
In response, Olivia’s body starts shaking, and when she makes a choked sound, I pull back and look at her face, afraid. She’s trying to hold it in, but the dam breaks and she starts sobbing. Tears fall like a waterfall down her cheeks and her whole body trembles,
Learning to Kill: Stories