Priestley Plays Four by J. B. Priestley Read Free Book Online Page B

person, don’t you think, Sam?
    SAM: Delicious!
(He hesitates.)
But – er – something was said about a princess.
    NINETTE:
(Disappointed in him.)
Oh!
    SAM: Said the wrong thing, have I?
    NINETTE:
(Reproachfully.)
You’re not a snob, are you, Sam?
    SAM:
(Apologetically.)
Not in the least. But I understand from Malgrim that the girl I painted was a Princess Melicent, and – well, you know how it is, Lady Ninette – that’s the one I’m looking for.
    NINETTE:
(Looking very grand.)
Is she fairer in your sight than I am?
    SAM:
(Hastily.)
No, not at all. As a matter of fact I’ve never seen her as clearly as I’m seeing you – and you’re certainly a devastatingly seductive piece – I beg your pardon –
    NINETTE: Not at all. I like it. More wine, Sam.
(She fills his tankard.)
    SAM:
(Who is drinking incautiously.)
Thank you, Ninette. You’re both adorable girls, I see that – different types, that’s all – but it’s Princess Melicent I’m trying to find.
    NINETTE: She’s a ninny.
    SAM: Perhaps I need a ninny.
(He drinks heartily, then grins at her.)
    NINETTE: Now I’m intelligent and rather wicked.
(Pauses, perhaps drinks.)
Do you know the Macbeths?
    SAM: I know
of
them of course.
    NINETTE: I’ve a cousin in Scotland who knows them very well. A few years ago, the Macbeths were nothing – just Army people. Look at them now, ruling Scotland. All
her
doing –
she
has the brains – the determination –
    SAM:
(Grimly.)
You wait!
    NINETTE: Well of course you couldn’t
give
me Scotland. But here too it’s the clever and rather wicked women who have all the fun. Look at Morgan le fay, Guenevere, Nimue, Etarre, the Queen of Orkney. It’s only clever women and enchanters who can
plot
.
    SAM: In our world we don’t need wicked plots any more – we can do ourselves in with Science and Progress. But tell me about the enchanter situation here – I’m not very clear about it –
    NINETTE: Oh – it’s rather fascinating really. There are two enchanters – Malgrim, the one I’m working with – and his old uncle, Marlagram. Now Marlagram outwitted Malgrim, and took Melicent to find you.
    SAM: Oh – I say!
    NINETTE: But then Malgrim, who’s terribly clever, outwitted his uncle by bringing you here before poor Melicent could find you. And now you’re here – but she’s there –
    SAM:
(Indignantly.)
And we’re still separated – but now we’re both in the wrong worlds. I call that a bit much –
    Herald, as in Scene 1, enters R.
.
    HERALD: His Royal Majesty – King Meliot of Peradore – High Lord of Bergamore and Parlot – Overlord of Lancington, Low Moss and Three Bridges!
    Trumpet sounds off R.. KING, dressed as before, enters, followed or preceded by two soldiers, and MALGRIM, in his original costume
.
    KING:
(Who is in a bad mood.)
What’s happening here? Who’s this fella?
(Indicating Sam.)
No, tell me later. Point is – where’s our dwarf?
    NINETTE: He’s here, sire. Brought back by Master Malgrim the enchanter –
    KING: Oh – that fella! Don’t trust him. Who’s this fella?
(Indicating MALGRIM.)
    MALGRIM:
I
am Master Malgrim, sire.
    KING: Dam’ confusing this. Don’t think I won’t straighten it out. Now what about this fella?
(He points and glares at SAM.)
Not one of our subjects. Isn’t properly dressed. One of these fellas from Lyonesse or Cameliard – eh? Hasn’t had himself announced. No credentials. And being given a dam’ great lunch at our expense.
(Going closer to table, he sees something and is furious.)
That goose pasty is reserved for our Royal table. What the blue blazes is it doing here? Fella turns up – no credentials – not properly dressed – and our best wine’s poured into him – he’s given a blowout on our goose pasty – and
who is he
?
    MALGRIM: A dangerous young man, your majesty. He came seeking Princess Melicent. He’s the man she saw in my magic mirror – Sam.
    KING: Sam? She said he didn’t exist in real life. Character in mythology, legend,