Priestley Plays Four by J. B. Priestley Read Free Book Online

these before Sam gets back –
    PEGGY: I’ll show you where we girls go –
    Takes her out briskly, leaving DIMMOCK bewildered. He takes a flask out of desk and pours some of the spirit it contains into his glass of milk. He is sipping this when ANNE and PHILIP march in
.
    DIMMOCK: Did you get Sam?
    PHILIP: No. We went to The Black Horse and found a mad barmaid there –
    ANNE:
(Giggling.)
She said Sam had gone through the wall –
    PHILIP:
(Laughing.)
To find a princess in a Portuguese lighthouse –
    ANNE: It’s true, D.D., we’re not making it up –
    DIMMOCK: Well, his model’s here – all dressed up – very good-looking girl too. Says she’s a princess –
(Telephone rings. DIMMOCK answers it.)
Dimmock speaking… Spencer-Smith? Hang on a minute –
(As he holds receiver for PHILIP.)
Television people for you – flapping again –
    PHILIP: Spencer-Smith here. Yes?… She’s
what?
…Well, I warned you to have some other girl lined up –
    MELICENT enters now. PHILIP sees her
.
    I know, I know – but now you’re asking me at the last minute… All right, I’ll bring somebody.
    (Puts down receiver, looks at DIMMOCK.)
Look – D.D. – I’m in a jam. Can I take this model of Sam’s?
(He turns to MELICENT.)
Lovely little job on the telly, dear – um?
    MELICENT: What are you saying?
    PHILIP: No time to stop and explain, dear. Do it on the way.
    MELICENT: Will I see Sam?
    PHILIP: Don’t think so – but he might see and hear
you
–
    He takes her off with him. But MELICENT turns at door to address DIMMOCK
.
    MELICENT: If Master Marlagram the enchanter comes back, tell him what has happened to me. And don’t think you can’t talk to him because he looks like a brown rat.
(She goes. Anne is staring at Dimmock.)
    ANNE: D.D.?
What
did that girl say?
    DIMMOCK:
(In a kind of controlled fury.)
Can’t you understand a perfectly simple request, Anne. She said I must talk to Master Marlagram the enchanter even if he looks like a brown rat.
(Shouting.)
And don’t start arguing about it. Just leave it.
    ANNE: All right. But where did that girl come from?
    DIMMOCK: Out of the cupboard.
(As Anne is about to say something, he shouts.)
I said ‘Leave it, leave it!’
(He now notices something on his desk. It is a large calendar.)
Now who did that?
(He turns it round and we see it shows, in large clear lettering, JUNE 31 ST . Now PEGGY enters.)
    PEGGY: Mrs Dimmock’s coming to take you home. And Dr Jarvis is on his way to see you.
    DIMMOCK:
(In despair.)
Oh – Christmas crackers!
(The telephone rings. He picks it up.)
Yes, Dimmock here.
Mummy’s Joy Products?
I’m sick of hearing about that muck of yours. Goodbye.
(He slams the receiver.)
    ANNE:
(Alarmed.)
D.D. – have a heart – it’s one of our best accounts!
    PEGGY: He’s not himself, Miss Dutton-Swift.
    DIMMOCK:
(About to explode.)
Oh – Jiminy Jorkins! – there must be some way out of all this.
(He glares round in despair. Telephone rings again.)
You take it, Peggy.
    ANNE:
(As PEGGY takes telephone.)
But honestly D.D. – we’ll have to explain to
Mummy’s Joy Products
–
    PEGGY:
(Cutting in, primly.)
It’s Master Marlagram, an enchanter – and he says ‘Try the cupboard’.
    DIMMOCK:
(Desperately.) All right. I will
.
    He dives clean through the cupboard
.
    PEGGY:
(Wildly.)
After him – after him! We can’t let him go – like that – come on –
    She hurries down and dives through the cupboard. ANNE follows her just as DR JARVIS enters hurriedly
.
    DR JARVIS:
(Importantly, as he enters.)
Now – then – Mr Dimmock – what’s this I hear? –
    He stares at the vanishing ANNE, hesitates a moment, then goes to cupboard and opens it. It is full of books and files, as before. As he stares at it and bends to listen, the pneumatic drill comes in at full blast
.
SCENE SIX
    Room in the castle, as before. LAMISON is playing his lute – and singing too possibly – and SAM, dressed exactly as before, is listening to him. SAM has a leather tankard in his