Punishment with Kisses by Diane Anderson-Minshall Read Free Book Online

sounded almost maniacal, and I couldn’t tell if I was reading between the lines or if her cackle really was tinged with sadness.
    “Magpie, you don’t want my life. I’ve seen way too much. I’ve experienced way too much. I don’t want this for you.”
    “What the fuck, Ash? Don’t give me that seen too much bullshit! We’re rich and spoiled and you’re the queen of the castle here. You didn’t even leave for college. You’ve spent your entire life in the state of Oregon. So don’t act like you just spent six months fighting Vietcong or something.”
    “A minor in women’s studies and the worst experience you could think of was war in Vietnam?” Ash laughed again, this time dismissively.
    “You know what I mean.” I had to smile myself, but I was still annoyed. Only Ash could be self-centered enough to think that even though she’d been the golden child, the spoiled one, Daddy’s little girl, she’d had some kind of hard knock life. For God sakes, aside from her being the light of Father’s eye and me going away to college, we’d had the same family, the same life, virtually the same everything, so how could she act like she had essentially been through more?
    Ash smiled and pushed a swell of water up in the pool to splash me playfully. “It’s too late for me to be the sister you deserve, Meg. I just don’t have it in me. I am what I am and I don’t think that’ll be changing.”
    If I hadn’t heard a bit of sorrow in her voice, I would have laughed at the Popeye-ness of her statement. Instead, it made me feel a little sad for Ash, if she was already resigned to the way things were at twenty-six. That didn’t leave much room for growth. This was the first time we had spoken earnestly with each other, in a very, very long time, though, so I didn’t want to challenge her too much. I just wanted to soak in the sun and my sister’s luminosity and wish that things would stay between us exactly as they were at that very moment.

Chapter Four

    They say nature abhors
static
conditions, so it’s no surprise that nothing stays the same. Still, my prayers didn’t go entirely unanswered. In the days that followed our conversation, it seemed like I’d had some kind of breakthrough with Ash and she’d remembered I was her kid sister, not some vile hanger on. She actually started inviting me down to the pool house, and she encouraged me to come hang out even when she was off on one of her wild adventures, the details of which she didn’t divulge, but probably revolved around Ash and a bevy of female lovers pleasure fucking their way through Portland.
    So there I was one night, sitting on the pool house’s Ikea couch, watching Ash and Cynthia getting ready to go out, trying on dress after dress, throwing the discarded ones onto a growing pile of clothing scattered around the floor. Ash probably expected someone else to pick up after her. Maybe someone did. Looking around, I could see that the beer bottles and discarded drug paraphernalia I observed on one of my earlier visits were now nowhere to be found. I wondered if Ash had figured out a way to smuggle one of the maids in to clean the pool house or if one of her would-be lovers did that kind of dirty work. It puzzled me how we could have been raised in the same house and Ash had rich girl entitlement syndrome when I didn’t. Or maybe she just didn’t care. Maybe Ash was willing to live in squalor if no one else picked things up. I certainly didn’t get it. But even as I felt annoyed by Ash’s behavior, I wished somehow I could be included in even more of her world.
    In that moment, she and Cynthia looked so happy and carefree, and I knew they were going out someplace exciting. I wanted so much to do something fun for a change, I asked if I could tag along.
    “Oh, girl, you wouldn’t last a minute with our crowd.” Ash laughed.
    “What do you mean?” I responded. “I’ve been hanging out with your friends for days.”
    “That’s not the