"You do," to Rhonda. I don't know why. I remember Jo Ann. I know that J like Jermaine. If she wasn't gone where would she go, in front Jermaine? Behind?
Miz Rain come to the door say, first person.
Consuelo go. Then Miz Rain come back say, Next, Jermaine go. Then she call me. We go in little room off side. "This gonna be painless," Miz Rain say, "I just want you to read a page from this little book." All the air go out my body. I grab my stomach. Miz Rain look scared. "Precious!"
My head water. I see bad things. I see my daddy.
I see TVs I hear rap music I want something to eat I want fuck feeling from Daddy I want die I want die.
"Precious! Are you alright! Breathe! Relax and breathe. Should I call an ambulance? Nine-one-one? Your mother—"
"NO!"
"What's wrong Precious?"
I struggles for air, "I... the pages look alike to me." I breave in deep, there I said it.
Miz Rain sigh sad like. "I think I understand you, Precious. But for now, I want you to try, push yourself Precious, go for it."
I reach out my hand for book.
"Just do the best you can, if you don't know a word skip—" She stop. "Just look at the page and say the words you do know."
I look at the page, it's some people at the beach.
Some is white, some is orange and gray (I guess thas spozed to be colored).
"What do you think the story is about Precious?"
"Peoples at the beach."
"That's right." Miz Rain point to a letter, ask me what is it. I say, "A" She point to some more letters. I don't say nuffin'. "Do you know that word?" No, I don't. "Do you know the letters?"
Umm hmmm. She point D, then A, then Y. She say do you know that word? No I don't but I say silence. She say, " 'Day,' that word is 'day.' " She point back at A, then "DAY," then point at A, T, say, "What's that word?" I say, "Ate." She say,
"Good! Almost! That word is 'at.' " Then point next word. I say, "The"; then she point last word.
I say, "Beach," but I'm not sure, I know B in
"beach," no B in that word. She say, " 'Shore,'
that word is 'shore,' that's almost like 'beach,'
very good very good," she say. Then she say in soft voice like cat purr (I always wishted I had a cat), "Can you read the whole thing?" I say, "A Day at the Beach." She says very good and closes the book. I want to cry. I want to laugh. I want to hug kiss Miz Rain. She make me feel good. I never readed nuffin' before.
Wednesday can't come fast enuff" I'm thinking as I walk down one-two-five. I loves Harlem, especially 125th Street. Lotta stuff" out here. You could see we got culchure. I gotta ask my muver for some money for journal book and pay Rhonda back for chips. This gonna be good school for me I know it.
My muver is in the middle of her stories when I come in—TV, TV She shout on me the minute I open the door.
"Bring your fat ass in here!"
What she think I was doing? I'm tired; I don't want no trouble.
"Where you sneak your ass off to this morning?"
She look like whale on couch. My muver have not left the house in, let's see—1983, '84, '85,
'86, 'n now '87. Ever since Little Mongo was born.
Social worker come here. I be at school. My grandmuver, Tbosie, bring Little Mongo over on days social worker come; game is Little Mongo live here, my mama take care of Little Mongo and me. My mama get check 'n food stamps for me 'n Lil Mongo. But it's my baby. Little Mongo is money for me!
"You hear me talking to you! I said where you sneak your ass off to this morning!"
"School!" I shout back. "I was school!"
"You was school?" Mama mimic me how I talk. I hate that! She know what I mean. "You lying whore!"
"Not!"
"You is! The welfare done called here, saying they is removing you from my budget 'cause you not in regular attendance at school."
JeeZUS! Where she been! I told her I got kickted out. I been home three weeks, twenty-four seven. She here when Mrs Lichenstein's white ass come here. I mean Mama what's the deal!
Who stupid, me or Mama?
"What you staring at?"
To get to my room I got to walk
Miz Rain come to the door say, first person.
Consuelo go. Then Miz Rain come back say, Next, Jermaine go. Then she call me. We go in little room off side. "This gonna be painless," Miz Rain say, "I just want you to read a page from this little book." All the air go out my body. I grab my stomach. Miz Rain look scared. "Precious!"
My head water. I see bad things. I see my daddy.
I see TVs I hear rap music I want something to eat I want fuck feeling from Daddy I want die I want die.
"Precious! Are you alright! Breathe! Relax and breathe. Should I call an ambulance? Nine-one-one? Your mother—"
"NO!"
"What's wrong Precious?"
I struggles for air, "I... the pages look alike to me." I breave in deep, there I said it.
Miz Rain sigh sad like. "I think I understand you, Precious. But for now, I want you to try, push yourself Precious, go for it."
I reach out my hand for book.
"Just do the best you can, if you don't know a word skip—" She stop. "Just look at the page and say the words you do know."
I look at the page, it's some people at the beach.
Some is white, some is orange and gray (I guess thas spozed to be colored).
"What do you think the story is about Precious?"
"Peoples at the beach."
"That's right." Miz Rain point to a letter, ask me what is it. I say, "A" She point to some more letters. I don't say nuffin'. "Do you know that word?" No, I don't. "Do you know the letters?"
Umm hmmm. She point D, then A, then Y. She say do you know that word? No I don't but I say silence. She say, " 'Day,' that word is 'day.' " She point back at A, then "DAY," then point at A, T, say, "What's that word?" I say, "Ate." She say,
"Good! Almost! That word is 'at.' " Then point next word. I say, "The"; then she point last word.
I say, "Beach," but I'm not sure, I know B in
"beach," no B in that word. She say, " 'Shore,'
that word is 'shore,' that's almost like 'beach,'
very good very good," she say. Then she say in soft voice like cat purr (I always wishted I had a cat), "Can you read the whole thing?" I say, "A Day at the Beach." She says very good and closes the book. I want to cry. I want to laugh. I want to hug kiss Miz Rain. She make me feel good. I never readed nuffin' before.
Wednesday can't come fast enuff" I'm thinking as I walk down one-two-five. I loves Harlem, especially 125th Street. Lotta stuff" out here. You could see we got culchure. I gotta ask my muver for some money for journal book and pay Rhonda back for chips. This gonna be good school for me I know it.
My muver is in the middle of her stories when I come in—TV, TV She shout on me the minute I open the door.
"Bring your fat ass in here!"
What she think I was doing? I'm tired; I don't want no trouble.
"Where you sneak your ass off to this morning?"
She look like whale on couch. My muver have not left the house in, let's see—1983, '84, '85,
'86, 'n now '87. Ever since Little Mongo was born.
Social worker come here. I be at school. My grandmuver, Tbosie, bring Little Mongo over on days social worker come; game is Little Mongo live here, my mama take care of Little Mongo and me. My mama get check 'n food stamps for me 'n Lil Mongo. But it's my baby. Little Mongo is money for me!
"You hear me talking to you! I said where you sneak your ass off to this morning!"
"School!" I shout back. "I was school!"
"You was school?" Mama mimic me how I talk. I hate that! She know what I mean. "You lying whore!"
"Not!"
"You is! The welfare done called here, saying they is removing you from my budget 'cause you not in regular attendance at school."
JeeZUS! Where she been! I told her I got kickted out. I been home three weeks, twenty-four seven. She here when Mrs Lichenstein's white ass come here. I mean Mama what's the deal!
Who stupid, me or Mama?
"What you staring at?"
To get to my room I got to walk
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