Questions for a Soldier by John Scalzi Read Free Book Online

 
     
     
    ——TRANSCRIPT BEGINS 238.05.10 03:05:34 
    (21:30:15 LOCAL)——
     
     
     
     
     
     
    ROHIT KULKARNI: 
     
    Please, please, everyone. I see Naren Bhatia setting down his dessert, so I truly know that it is time to move on to the next portion of the evening. (laughter) You have licked that bowl clean, Naren? (laughter) My Anjali will be pleased to know her contribution to the evening met with such success. 
     
     
     
    It is not often that our simple village receives a visitor of such esteem as the man I have the honor of presenting to you this evening. As with all of the colonies in the Union, Huckleberry and New Goa remember with horror of the Rraey invasion of Coral, one of the oldest and most precious of our colonies. The Rraey slaughtered all of the colonists there, more than 100,000 lives ended. It was one of the darkest hours in the history of the Union.
     
     
     
    But the Rraey did not hold Coral for long, thanks in part to the efforts of our guest, whose courageous actions in battle caused him to be awarded the Silver Star and the Distinguished Service Cross, as well as the first Order of Coral award. He is here tonight to share some of his experiences as part of the Colonial Defense Forces that keep all of the colonies safe, including our own. With great honor, I present to you Captain John Perry.
     
     
     
    (applause)
     
     
     
    CAPT. PERRY: 
     
    Thank you, and thank you, Administrator Kulkarni. It was your wife who made tonight’s dessert? No wonder you look so happy. (laughter) The whole dinner was wonderful, really. I don’t think I’ve eaten this well in years.
     
     
     
    KULKARNI: 
     
    I don’t doubt you say that everywhere you go.
     
     
     
    PERRY: 
     
    Well, I do, but this time I mean it. (laughter) And I’ve been having a wonderful visit here in New Goa. I have to warn you all that in addition to doing this goodwill tour of the Colonies for the CDF, I also have an ulterior motive: I’m checking out colonies for when I retire. So get a good look at this face; you might have to get used to it one day. (laughter)
     
     
     
    KULKARNI: 
     
    We would welcome you, Captain.
     
     
     
    PERRY: 
     
    You say that now , Administrator. (laughter) I do have to say that one advantage of settling in New Goa is that although I come from a different culture than you back on Earth, we do share a common language, or at least share one common language. Before I came to Huckleberry, I was on Shaw Colony, which was settled by Norwegians. I had to use an interpreter while I was there. I think I accidentally declared war on them at least once. (laughter) There is much less of a chance of that here.
     
     
     
    Now, my understanding is that I’m supposed to stand up here and lecture you all on how the Colonial Defense Forces are working to protect you from the rest of the universe, but I have to say that I did that a couple of times and then I got really bored of hearing my own voice. And everywhere I go, people have questions that they want to ask. So if it’s all right with you, I’m going to suggest we skip whatever bad speech I would give you and go right to the questions. (pause) Since I see about two dozen hands, I’m guessing that means it’s okay with you. (laughter) Yes, ma’am. You here in the front.
     
     
     
    VILLAGER #1: 
     
    Are you married? (Uproarious laughter) Not for me! For my niece. She is about your age. 
     
     
     
    PERRY: 
     
    Well, thank you. I’m deeply flattered, although I’m sure your niece would be surprised to find out you’re trying to get her hitched.
     
     
     
    VILLAGER #1: 
     
    Not at all! She’s here in the room! Aparna! Stand up! (more laughter)
     
     
     
    PERRY: 
     
    Hello, Aparna. Please, sit. You’re safe from me. (laughter) To answer the question, I’m not married. But it’s also against CDF policy for soldiers to be married. We ship all over this part of the universe and it would be very difficult to maintain a