Ready to Were by Robyn Peterman Read Free Book Online

Vampyre could bake.
    “I’d like you to consider my brilliant idea.”
    “Dwayne, the point of drag is that men dress up as women. I am a woman with real boobs.”
    “True, and your boobs are fabu. You’re hotter than hell and I’d love to see you in some gold lamé booty shorts and a sequined bra. I think it would be therapeutic for you.”
    “I have about fourteen sequined bras,” Granny chimed in as she sauntered into the kitchen and grabbed a muffin. “Some of them are nipple-less, but I’m sure I have a few that would work.”
    “On that note, I’m outta here,” I said. I grabbed the files and an extra muffin. “Can you two stay out of trouble?” The innocent looks on their faces set my allergic-to-bullshit radar off, but I didn’t have time to babysit them. “Just don’t get arrested,” I muttered and hurried out the door before Granny insisted I try on her sparkly brassieres.
    “Lunch?” Dwayne yelled as I ran to my car.
    “Yep. I’ll call you.”
    ***
     
    The office was a disaster—like someone had ransacked it, but I realized as Junior paced the room it was him. He was knocking everything off the tables and walls. He was alarmingly animated and unconsciously destructive. For my own safety, I pressed myself against the door and waited.
    “Listen to me, Essie,” Junior pleaded. “You have got to bang my brother. Just bang the living hell out of him.”
    “I’m sorry. What did you just say?” The sheriff’s office, which wasn’t large to start with, had just gotten smaller. It felt as if the walls were closing in and I was going to get squished like a bug. Was he for real? Was there anyone in Hung who didn’t want me to bang Hank? Well, I knew of three people who certainly didn’t want me to bang him…
    “It’s been a year since he got laaaahhhhhhh, I mean, um…Hang Man is my baby brother’s favorite—you know, ahhh game and I’m going to suggest making it a professional Olympic sport and, ah…” Junior paled considerably and inched his huge body toward the exit, making it very obvious that the potential bangee had entered the room.
    “Junior, I can handle my own affairs,” Hank ground out. “If you’d like to live to see tomorrow, I’d suggest you take the rest of the day off.”
    “Outstanding suggestion, bro,” Junior agreed shakily as he slunk out of the office. “Should I straighten up in here?”
    “No. I’ll take care of it.” Hank groaned as he took in the mess Junior had made.
    I closed my eyes for a brief moment before I really looked at Hank. If Junior was telling the truth, Hank hadn’t gotten laid in a year. That made no sense whatsoever and Junior was famous for stretching the truth, so I decided to wrestle with that another time—as in never. However, my lady bits and my inner wolf danced with joy. Stop . Not here to bang the sheriff. Here to work. Period. I was a big girl and I could work with him. I was beyond impressed with his attention to detail in the reports and he had some theories I hadn’t considered. He was a colleague and I was a professional. Nothing more. Nothing less. Plastering a pleasant smile on my face I opened my eyes and… Mother humpin’ cowballs… I quickly grabbed the back of a chair so I would continue to appear as if I could stand on my own feet.
    He wore a shirt I had given him. A lightweight green Henley that matched his eyes perfectly. Not only was he color-coordinated, he was mouthwatering. His muscles strained against the fabric and begged to be licked. Wait. What ? I mentally smacked the tar out of my inner wolf and prayed to all the angels and saints for strength. There would be no licking today.
    “The files were very thorough,” I choked out as I breezed past him into his office. Blindly sitting on the first thing my butt could find, I realized I was perched on a pile of old newspapers. Nice.
    “You comfortable?” he asked with a smirk.
    “Extremely, thank you.” I’d be damned if I was going to let on