Real Vampires Don't Wear Size Six by Gerry Bartlett Read Free Book Online

smell that?” She lunged toward him.
    “No, you don’t, girlfriend. He’s not the main course on the midnight buffet.” I held her away with one hand while I lifted Josh’s chin with the other so I could stare into his eyes. I did my thing, making sure he couldn’t run away screaming.
    “What did you just do? I love that he’s not moving. Just waiting for me to take him down. I’m going to drain that creep dry.” Penny tried to wrestle her way out of my grip. Not happening. I was that much stronger. I put both hands on her shoulders and shook her.
    “Calm down. Listen to me.” I stared at her. “I used the whammy on him. Mesmerized him, I guess you’d call it. He’s in a kind of dream state so he won’t run screaming back to the frat house for reinforcements. I really don’t feel like taking on a dozen drunk frat boys. This guy reeks enough.” I nodded toward where he leaned against the tree trunk, a vacant expression on his face. “You don’t want to drink from him, he’s loaded.”
    “So? Maybe I’ll get a buzz too. I could use it. This has been the worst week of my life.” Penny gave me a sour look.
    “I know. But we were just going to pull a prank here, not kill him. Remember?” I stayed between Penny and Josh. She had a wild look in her eyes and I expected her to try to jump me at any moment. I’d hate to have to hurt her, but would do it if she forced the issue.
    “Just move, Glory. Let me at him. Mesmerized? Cool. So he’ll just stand there while I sink my fangs into his neck and . . .” Penny snarled. “Damn, he smells like beer but under that is the most delicious aroma . . .” She tried to pry at my hands on her arms with her fingernails. “Let me at him.”
    “Stop it.” I shook her until her head snapped back on her shoulders. “Get a grip. That’s your bloodlust talking. I understand. But I want you to look at Josh and read his mind. He’s not what you think.”
    “Not the asshole who drove me to the middle of nowhere and dumped me so a vampire could ruin my life?” Penny’s voice rose and I looked around, afraid the guys in the nearby house would hear us. Luckily they were into loud music and a game that required a chant that drowned out Penny’s whine.
    “Just look at this guy and listen.” I aimed her at Josh and we both tuned in to his mental ramblings.
    “Beer pong. Cole’s turn. Need to give up beer. Look what happened at Ugly Chick party. Hated it. Got drunk and took girl to Mount Bonnell. Drove down the hill. Supposed to leave her. Rules of the party. Couldn’t do it. Not to any girl and she was nice. Liked her. Damn, I was sloshed. Got lost, couldn’t find way back up. Lost her. Tried to call, tell her, but no cell signal. Finally got up there, but she was gone. Guess she got signal, ride home. Must have better cell provider. Need new phone. Droid.”
    Josh sighed and the chanting stopped for a moment. Then a new one started. “Bucky. He’ll win. Next year I’m prez. Stop Ugly Chick thing. Makes frat look bad. Never shoulda left that girl. Bet she freaked. Gotta quit beer pong. Makes me hurl and act stupid. May hurl again. Damn beer.”
    Penny turned to me. “He went back to look for me.”
    “Seems like maybe Josh is basically a nice guy when not under the influence. Might even have boyfriend potential if he wasn’t a mortal.” I let her go but kept a close eye on her. There was still the bloodlust problem and we both had our fangs down.
    “He is cute and smart. He’s a junior engineering major and makes the dean’s list.” Penny dragged her eyes from his bleeding lip down his body. “Does that mean my days of having a human boyfriend are gone forever, Glory?” She looked at me, her eyes filled with tears.
    “Afraid so, hon. The only use you’ve got for mortals now is for feeding. And, personally, I don’t think that’s fair to them. That’s why I stick to the synthetics.” I glanced at him. He had a great blood type but was soaked in