Redemption by Eden Winters Read Free Book Online Page A

pulled out a K-cup.
    “No, thanks.” The mere thought of coffee rolled Lucky’s nervous stomach.
    “You’re saying no to coffee? Someone alert the media.”
    The lame humor further roiled Lucky’s gut. If he didn’t get the weight off his chest, explosions were coming. “There’s details from Mexico I wasn’t sure of, so I left them off my report.”
    “Oh?” Walter sat up straighter and rested his hands on his desk. Seemed he had an official stance for every occasion.
    “I told you about the gun fight. It all happened so fast.” The Garcia brothers, dead. Bo dying. And a dead guard. All in a few seconds. Yet, some of those seconds stretched into hours.
    “Regardless of what you see on TV, most shootouts last less than three minutes.”
    “This one didn’t go two, I don’t think.” Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang rattled through Lucky’s head. He closed his eyes and blew out a breath. “I had a borrowed gun, and…” He sucked in air to buy a few moments. Once the words left his mouth, no taking them back.
    “Go on.”
    “I… IthinkImighthaveshotaman.” There. He’d confessed.
    Walter regarded Lucky with deceptive calm, but behind an unemotional façade, the man’s mind had to be churning. “I see. Who do you think you might have shot, and where is the gun now?”
    For fuck’s sake. What had he done with the gun? “One of Stephan’s men. And I’m not sure about the gun. Someone shot Bo full of hydrocodone, and the only thing on my mind was getting him back across the border. I might’ve dropped it in the office, or in the lab where we found the naloxone.” Naloxone. The only reason Bo still drew breath.
    Walter steepled his fingers. His bushy gray brows gathered over a deep furrow above his eyes. “You’re aware that shooting a suspect calls for further investigations, don’t you?”
    “Yeah. I can’t swear it was me. Bullets were everywhere.” But it could have been me. Was most likely me. Wishing it wasn’t didn’t change a thing. Still, no harm in trying. “If I did, it was self-defense.”
    “Of that I have no doubt. Nothing appeared in the report I received from Mexico of you having shot a man. Perhaps the other witnesses saw things differently. Bo made no mention of it either.”
    “Bo was busy. And I hope Cruz saw it different, ‘cause I’ve been having dreams… You told me you’d shot men before. How do you keep it from eating you alive?”
    “I did what my country called on me to do. I stand by each decision and would pull the trigger again if put into the same circumstances.”
    “That don’t answer the question.”
    “Taking a life is never an easy thing, nor is the emotional fallout later. But if I hadn’t pulled the trigger, the enemy would have, and killed me or my brothers in arms.” Walter made killing sound so reasonable.
    “Then I’m screwed, right?”
    Walter abandoned his chair, rounded the desk, and sat next to Lucky, pressing the warm weight of his hand to Lucky’s shoulder. “Off the record? If you took a life without remorse, you wouldn’t be human.
    “For years I wondered about the men I shot, the lives and families they’d left behind. I didn’t let it show and told no one until I entered counseling ten years later. I should have told you last summer when you first asked, but even today talking about it makes me uncomfortable.” Walter slipped his hand off Lucky and stared at the wall. “No amount of training can prepare you for something like this. Value for human life, early religious training, it all plays a role.” He gave Lucky a tremulous smile.
    “I’m screwed, then.” Lucky buried his face in his hands.
    “Our insurance website lists department-approved therapists and psychologists. I expect you to make an appointment with one.”
    “I don’t need—” Lucky peered through his splayed fingers.
    “I believe you do. Plus, it’s required of any SNB personnel who discharges a firearm in the line of duty. I’m afraid if you